I was asked to tell about my experiences with the Tet Offensive during he Vietnam War. First of all I'd like to explain that the Tet Offensive wasn't, in my opinion, all that it was cracked up to be. It wasn't even all that offensive unless you were able to understand the local language the same as I wasn't. It all started one day when my commanding officer ordered me to infiltrate the North Vietnamese to gather reconnaissance. When I was deep in enemy controlled territory and I was convinced that I would be able to gather some valuable recon I stumbled across a public forum of some kind. In this forum the Vietcong were taking turns standing before the audience shouting out slogans and phrases and then to enthusiastic applause they would sit down.
I was naturally tape-recording the proceedings. All at once someone in the crowd pointed me out and I at once realized everyone was looking at me. Just when I thought my goose was cooked I realized that they had't discovered my identity; they just wanted me to take my turn in front of the assembly. Again my heart sunk.
I had previously learned quite a few words of Vietnamese from my Vietnamese girlfriend whom I spent quite a bit of time with when I was on furlow in Saigon. I decided to go for broke and shout out all the words that I knew. Instead of the wild applause that the other speakers received, I was met with only stunned silence. I of coarse thought that I was caught but the audience just got up and left without anyone saying anything to anybody.
Later back at headquarters after my recon had been translated the commanding officer explained what happened at the meeting. He said that I had inadvertently stumbled into a North Vietnamese swearing contest. He explained that the words I used in my address were so gross that even those with the strongest stomachs couldn't take it. Even the South Vietnamese interpreters refused to fully re-iterate what I had said. Our unit attacked the north the next day and won an easy victory since the NVA were still to nauseated to fight. And that my friend is how the Americans won the Tet Offensive.