Tuesday, September 30, 2003

Misleading People

In 12 days I will have been misleading people with this website for exactly one year. That's right baby, the blog will be one year old on the 12th of October.

You may be wondering why I say that I have been misleading people. It because of the searches that are giving us hits.

For example, the following items return no useful information about the topics the people appear to be searching for: recipe for brussle sprouts, onomatopoeia comics, how to make gravey, accelerator "her foot" "know how to drive", CNN Cameraman Stu Iraq, masher + serial +Californiaa, and "i tied her up" pics.

These are just an example of the 633 words that were used to access our website. There are no pics of any one tied up. Gravey is spelled wrong, but besides that we don't have a recipe for it. Speaking of recipes, Jeff and Anna haven't posted a new recipe in months. James you're just going to have to wait to find out how to make pizza soup. It's too bad really, because it's so good. (teen girl squad, so good.)

But when it comes right down to it, this post is only adding fuel to the fire. Now more people who don't know that Avril Lavine is not how you spell Avril Lavigne, will come looking for Avril Lavine pics. Oh well.

Sunday, September 28, 2003

Apology To Jeff

I'm sorry that I have offended you. Our friendship is more important to me than this argument. I didn't realize that you would take my position so personally, and it was not my intent to hurt your feelings.

What I was trying to do was to post a reasonable argument for the con side. I guess that I have failed to do this.

-Gary Milner

ps. Jeff if you have not read my email to you, one is there for you.

Saturday, September 27, 2003

Doing E-commerce For Real

I would like to start my own e-business for real, but I lack some very important elements of a business. First a product to sell, and second a reason for people to think that buying it on the internet would be better than buying somewhere else.

Over the last 3 or 4 years, the world experience a "Dot Bomb" hundreds of dot coms went bankrupt. People have to be much more careful about doing e-business now, the have to ask themselves harder questions. Will this website add value to the business? Does it make anything more convenient? Is there information value, is the information there and presented in a useful manner? Does it get rid of a middle man or just change who the middle man is? Does in create a new better/cheaper middleman? Does it make a lower price more feasible?

The internet has a bunch of effects on businesses and consumers.

1. It is a Mediating Technology, it helps to connect people/parties and helps them to exchange information.

2. It makes the world both smaller and larger. Larger because number of people you compete with will go way up, since there are very low barriers to entry. Smaller because you can do business from anywhere, being in a major center is the same as being in a smaller city.

3. Often it has the effect where the more people that connect to it, the more valuable it is. Take this site for example, the more different people that post, the more useful it is to entertain and inform others about what the family is doing.

4. It can be a distribution channel. This is mainly relevant for information based services. I saw an example on a show called Venture, there is an accounting firm in South Africa that is emailed Canadian companies information. They process it and send it back. The South Africans are making a fortune (in their opinion) and the Canadians are saving a fortune.
It can also enhance some channels of distribution, for example if you mail a package via FedEx, you can track where your package is along it's journey.

5. It is a time moderator. Websites are open 24/7. Information is delivered much faster, and you don't have to stand in line. Take a bank for example. You don't have to wait in line (or on hold) during bank hours to do your transactions (that don't involve cash) and you can do your transaction any time.

6. It shrinks information asymmetry. Both parties are on more equal ground. I, knowing nothing about cars, can look car info up on the internet and I can check prices in lots of dealerships before I even test drive.

7. It gives infinite virtual capacity. If 50 people go into a bank, it would take a long time to handle that many people. Over the web, you could get 1000-10000 visitors with in seconds of each other, and they could all be doing transactions at the same time. It's like having a thousand or more staff members.

8. The standards are low cost. Standards for programming on the web are open. You don't need to pay someone to write a program in their computer language. This means that there are low barriers to entry. I could make a website just as easily as someone with 4 times as much money as me. This also means that I can make changes easily because I don't have to pay fees to someone to get the right to use their programming standard.

9. It is a creator and a destroyer. 10 years ago, no one had heard of an internet service provider, the only way to be on the internet was through a University, the military or the government. Providing internet service is a new industry created by the internet. It also has completely changed the way people travel. Lots order tickets online, and so travel agencies are going the way of the dodo, unless they can somehow change the way they do business.

10. It reduces transactions costs. It becomes easier(cheaper) to find buyers/sellers. You can pay a couple hundred bucks to host your website, or you can pay a couple hundred bucks to have flyers printed. If there's mistake on your website you can change it, but if there's a mistake on the flyer you pay a couple hundred to have them printed again. It becomes easier to collect information.

A good e-business would take into account the effects of the internet and try to do something that is aided by the them. If you are interested in an example, post a shout out.

-Gary Milner, Internet Idea Man

Friday, September 26, 2003


Has anyone wondered how the United States can afford to give so much money to Iraq? I have. It's because I know what the United States national debt is. It's 6,806,136,437.663 dollars. And the debt is growing at the astonishing rate of 1.6 billion dollars a day. That's 66,666,666 dollars an hour or 1,111,111 dollars per minute or 18,518 dollars a second. The interest on the national debt at five percent per year(I guessed at the five percent figure)is $390,306,821,880. I have to assume that their paying that interest, otherwise nobody in their right mind would lend them another penny. How are they managing to dig up $390,306,821,880 a year in interest payments and still be able to eat you ask. The answer is that they're borrowing it of course. That explains the 1.6 billion dollar daily raise in the debt. When they can no longer pay the interest people are going to want their money back. The only way the government will be able to get it is to print more money. When a country does this without real value to back it up it causes inflation. Then money will be worthless. Then what will people buy food with?

E-Commerce Website Woes

My auction website is almost done. I stayed up until 2:30 am last night to work on queries for my website. It's coming along quite well, although there are a few bugs that I would like to work out. I'm not sure if we will be able to get everything done in time. The due date was pushed back again until Monday. I will be really glad when it's done. It will give me more time for the rest of my studies. I am getting a little behind on my readings.

Even though I stayed up until 2:30 I still had to drive Tracie to work at 6:45. That's pretty early, but I had to be at school by 9:00 for a lab anyway, so it wasn't really that bad. I actually showered at the school just so that I wouldn't have to get up as early.

The thing with being busy is that I don't get to do stuff. Stuff that I want to do I mean. As crazy as it sounds, I like going to the gym every morning. I haven't done that for a week. When this stupid e-commerce class is done, I'm going to have more time to get back to the gym.

Wednesday, September 24, 2003

Calgary Philharmonic Orchestra Feat. Big Bad Voodoo Daddy

One of the guys up at the Gauntlet worked for the Calgary Philharmonic Orchestra over the summer and so he has connections, although maybe they are just using him to help fill the Jack Singer Concert Hall. He asked me if I would like a pair of tickets to see the show. I did so he wrote down my name and he had a pair of tickets set aside for me at the box office (regular price $40.50 each + service fees from ticketmaster.) He made the same offer to everyone else in the office as well.

It was quite interesting. For those of you who have never been to the auditorium, It's about the same size as a regular theater, except that the stage is a lot deeper, (Anna will correct me if that's the wrong term for being very long from front to back) and that there are balcony seats.

Tracie and I were in one of the balconies, right above the stage. Our vantage point made it hard to see the bass players, but I'm told that they don't do much anyway.

Over all Tracie and I give the concert two thumbs up. Four if you think that each person can give both thumbs. I especially liked it when they emptied the spit valves and the buckets they all had to hold the spit.

At the beginning of the concert they orchestra played a song, that had the sound of a telephone and then the orchestra would sing out, "Pennsylvania 6-5-0-0-0". Up until that point, I never realized that you could play the telephone as a serious instrument. You would have to be a very good dialer to get the timing just right, so maybe it's not a realistic profession for me.

I have to admit that I liked the orchestra part much better than the Big Bad Voodoo Daddy part. "Big Bad" plays swing music, which would be much better in a place where you could dance. They also had microphones. I felt that they overpowered the orchestra. It probably would have been better if they had been made first chairs instead of having mics. The drums should not have been amplified at all, because they are too loud already.

It was an interesting concert, because of the styles of the two groups are so different. The orchestra has a very rigid style, in fact you get jabbed by the little stick if the conductor thinks your getting off track. The swing band how ever improvises quite a lot.

If you have a chance to go see an orchestra, especially one from a big city, it's totally worth it. It's especially important to support the one in Calgary, because they are having such financial difficulty.

Tuesday, September 23, 2003

Dog Argument

Dad, further on down the post I wrote: "I find that I cannot express why I am against homosexual marriage in a manner that I consider to be adequate." While thinking of what to write I found an argument that used an example of marrying your pet bird. I consider your example of marrying your dog, just as fowl. (ha, ha, get it fowl=foul).

The best thing you have written concerning this topic to date is:
"At this point I sit back and I ask myself: how do I respond these questions and comments. Is this indeed none of my business? Is this indeed not going to hurt me? How will this affect me? I'm not sure. What I do know is that something is not right here. I feel violated somehow."

Lots of people feel like that. Lots of people also feel like me, like we are inadequate or possible not eloquent enough to discuss it or post about it. The problem that many people are also on the fence. Many people don't know what to think, they don't really think that homosexual marriage is a good thing, but they don't want to hurt anybody else's feelings. When people with good intentions try to persuade with "crazy" arguments rather than making a simple truthful argument the borderline people think, "That argument is pretty weak. The guy making it may or may not be crazy. The people supporting it (same sex marriage) are saying things like 'be fair' and 'equal rights'. I want to be fair and give everyone equal rights"

Jeff wrote: "I felt that the new law wouldn't really affect us. What does it matter to me as a straight guy whether or not two same gendered individuals are married by definition or just living together. It doesn't affect me." I had the feeling that he didn't really care what the law was as it didn't affect him. I guess I was wrong about that. His follow up posts don't paint that picture.

What I was trying to do with my posts was, to provide some sort of simple, non-marry-dog arguments against same sex marriage. To try to show, that, although there are people willing to present a case against same sex marriage that is pretty weak, that, there are also people who are reasonable, that believe every law in Canada affects them even if they don't run a-fowl of said law. (How about that? The same pun twice in one post.)

In conclusion, everybody please let this topic die, or continue through email. When I started this blog it was supposed to be entertaining and possibly informative. This discussion is not entertaining at all, and stopped being informative very quickly (if it could be considered informative at all.)

-Gary Milner, Sick of Internet Arguments

A man says that he loves his dog and they want to get married. While this is very touching and everything. Normal people would say forget it. But there would be a fringe of people who would be bound to say, well why not. Who's it going to hurt How is this going to affect you. This is only fair. This is none of your business. At this point I sit back and I ask myself: how do I respond these questions and comments. Is this indeed none of my business? Is this indeed not going to hurt me? How will this affect me? I'm not sure. What I do know is that something is not right here. I feel violated somehow. I feel cheapened to think that someone is marrying a dog. I think that if a guy befouls the group he befouls everybody and thats that.

Saturday, September 20, 2003

Stupid Computers Continue to Annoy ME

Well, I rode the bus for an hour today to go work on my internet auction site. My partner was an hour late. The tech's still haven't fixed what ever problems they are having with the computers.

I cannot get any of part of my auction site to load in the lab. I sincerely hope that there are no graduates of the U of C, working as part of the U of C IS department. It would mean that the university cannot teach people how to fix computers, how to manage computers or solve computer problems.

Apparently the problems are campus wide. Several viruses all hit in rapid succession, and besides that the various networks on campus are too large to fix in one fell swoop, so while one gets fixed, the other networks somehow break it again. This has been going on since the start of school.

Admittedly, several thousands of additional users probably puts a lot of strain on the infrastructure, the new students come every year, and as far as I'm concerned reimaging the computer lab where I was going to work on my site did more harm to me than it did good to the network.

-Gary Milner

ps. arrrr

Friday, September 19, 2003

Avast this lubbin thing of a computer, just gave me a broadside, an I lost me post again. I can hardly believe it t' be true. I have t' port at t'hospital to capture me buxom beauty Tracemeister the Terrible. So I've t' keep this post short

I'm shovin' off,

-Gary Milner Soul Patch Beard, Internet Pirate

Talk Like a Pirate Matey

Arrrrr, top of the morning to you me hearties. Avast, it being Talk Like a Pirate Day, I'm hoping ye swarmies will be talkin' more in line with the Pirate lingo. The thing about talk like a pirate day is, Mateys, I walk down these here halls in the University thinking to myself how great 'twould be to break out in pirate lingo but arrrr I haven't the courage. Here instead is a do-over of Gary's and Dad's posts with ++pirate lingo ye scurvy bilge rats. YAARRRRHH!!!!

More Regarding Funny Guys Mateys
by Bob Milner (re-written by Jeff)

I think that while the liberals be workin' so hard t' achieve equal starboards for funny guys they should make it a law that funny guys get t' have their own change rooms 'n restrooms the same as men 'n women do. Arrgh! As thin's be now, it's a hard thin' just t' use a cubicle in the restroom because ye think ye might get yer ankle grabbed. Bilge!

Arrr, When the Crew Argues
by Gary Milner (re-written by Jeff)

I just noticed that when people debate sensitive topics, they like t' use big words. The chase is making full sail, matey! I almost never use big words in real life, 'n neither be Jeff or Anna (as far as I can tell havin' only talked her 5 or 6 times). Yaaarrrr! But it's not just us. Shiver me timbers T' whole filthy lot o' 'em does. Avast, I think that, at a subconscious level, we think it makes us sound more convincin'. AAARRGGHHH! Maybe we hope that the other person won't en be able t' understand bigger words. Blimey! Maybe we hope that they will spend time lookin' up the words in a pirate dictionary: sophist, disingenuous, bling bling, semiotics and pfft. Aarhh! The word pfft be an onomatopoeia, so don't be botherin' lookin' it up Matey. Yarrr, maybe they will forget their argument because they be in awe o' yer stupendous vocabulary. Bloody landlubber! Somehow I be doubtin' it.

What I really think be that it helps defeat the desire t' resort t' name callin' 'n usin' hurtful derogatory words. Be ye ready to walk the plank? Ye may have read an earlier post o' mine where I posted a clip o' an email from the lass who was furious. Yo-ho-ho! I'll say again that the hurtful derogatory words don't increase the weight o' yer argument. Dead men tell no tales. They make ye look like a landlubber.

-Gary Milner Pirate Internet Dictionary

ps. Man the guns, ye cowardly swabs! I put the link t' James' blog because I think he be a good writer, not because I agree with everythin' he says.

Aye me Hearteys, man the sails and yarrr, more grog, wench! Have a great talk like a pirate day and when pirating music, don't let those bastarrrrrds at the Arrrrr-IAA get you down Matey.


I think that while the liberals are working so hard to achieve equal rights for funny guys they should make it a law that funny guys get to have their own change rooms and restrooms the same as men and women do. As things are now, it's a hard thing just to use a cubicle in the restroom because you think you might get your ankle grabbed.

Thursday, September 18, 2003

People Debating

I just noticed that when people debate sensitive topics, they like to use big words. I almost never use big words in real life, and neither to Jeff or Anna (as far as I can tell having only talked her 5 or 6 times). But it's not just us. Everyone does. I think that, at a subconscious level, we think it makes us sound more convincing. Maybe we hope that the other person won't be able to understand bigger words. Maybe we hope that they will spend time at dictionary.com looking up the words: sophist, disingenuous, bling bling, semiotics and pfft. The word pfft is an Onomatopoeia, so don't bother looking it up. Maybe they will forget their argument because they are in awe of your stupendous vocabulary. Somehow I doubt it.

What I really think is that it helps defeat the desire to resort to name calling and using hurtful derogatory words. You may have read an earlier post of mine where I posted a clip of an email from the girl who was furious. I'll say again that the hurtful derogatory words don't increase the weight of your argument. They make you look stupid.

-Gary Milner Internet Dictionary

ps. I put the link to James' blog because I think he is a good writer, not because I agree with everything he says.

Another Analogy About Same-Sex Marriage

What Margaret Somerville said about same-sex marriage reminded me of something I heard about radical feminists who wanted equal rights for women in every way, even when it came to the right of going into the men's change room! This is where the ideas of separate-but-equal and different-but-equal seem to apply. Women are different-but-equal and as such should have the same rights as men to use the rest room assigned to their gender. If they were separate-but-equal, using Dr. Somerville's definition, they should be able to use either a men's or ladies' change room. I obviously, like most of society know that women should be classified as different-but-equal and not separate-but-equal.

Now as for same-sex marriages, should they be classified as separate-but-equal or different-but-equal? Well the more conservative religious and political parties don't want to give them either and would try and say they don't deserve any equal rights. For the sake of expediency in my argument I will not address such an archaic way of thinking. Obviously we want equal rights for all humanity. However, the question still persists: different-but-equal marriages (implying that they should have some sort of equivalent marriage just for homosexuals but don't call it marriage) or separate-but-equal (implying that they should be granted the right to have the exact same kind of marriage traditionally reserved for man and woman)? Dr. Somerville thinks the answer is different-but-equal. She thinks that "recognizing same-sex marriage would change [marriage's] inherent nature," the same way allowing females into a men's change room would inherently modify the men's change room into a gender-less change room. It's a good argument, one that might convince you that different-but-equal is the answer, if you agree that there would be some damage to marriage because of recognizing same-sex marriages. Dr. Somerville failed to argue any realistic damage that would be done. Instead she just says that, "The issue is whether society needs marriage to institutionalize the inherently procreative relationship between a man and a woman. I believe we do, and maintaining it should take priority." That's all fine and dandy that she has an opinion but she doesn't explain why the procreative relationship between a man and a woman is an inherent property of marriage? Is it because the dictionary [said] so?

Going back to my change room analogy, this inherent property of marriage - the procreative nature between a man and a woman, isn't really an inherent property the way gender is. Marriage will still be the uniting of two people that love each other regardless of the government’s decision to recognize same-sex marriages. Allowing a women into the men's change room would modify inherent properties because it would no longer really be a men's room, it becomes a gender-less change room. The men already using the change room would have to adjust because the modification of the change rooms inherent properties would actually have affected their right to a men's only room. Same-sex marriages will not have this impact upon traditional male and female couples. Just because they are recognized under the law will not change the way heterosexual people are married or make their marriages worth less. Therein lies the difference. Therein is the reason that similar-but-equal is the answer, and while Margaret's arguments may have been convincing it was the fact that she never concretely secured the most important variable, and that is whether or not the procreative relationship between a man and a woman is an inherent property of marriage.

Homosexual Marriage

I wish I was as eloquent as Dr. Somerville. I find that I cannot express why I am against homosexual marriage in a manner that I consider to be adequate. I hold a firm belief that an argument can be made against it. I also believe that that the argument can be done in a non-homophobic manner. It seems to me that one can disagree with a pro-homosexual idea with out being homophobic, in the same way I can disagree with an Irishman's opinion without being racist, bigoted or somehow discriminatory.

To Anna's example, and I do realise that it is just an example, I say that no non-sick (possibly healthy?) person has the right to be in the hospital. Hospital staff can and do tell family members to leave the hospital for various reasons all the time. If the person doesn't go, they call security or the police. The hospital argument just doesn't work. But, any nurse that would just kick someone out that wasn't be disruptive is, in my opinion, completely heartless.

I would like to point out Dr. Somerville's explanation "Different-but-equal, and Separate-but-equal". A person being denied the privilege of visiting a loved one the basis of their sexual choice is wrong.

-Gary Milner

One Case Against Homosexual Marriage

Note to Svend Robinson

As published in the Globe and Mail
July 9, 2003

Dear Svend,

Your recent article in these pages makes me acutely aware of the mixed emotions I face in opposing same-sex marriage. You, and many others, regard such a change as an essential recognition of the dignity, worth and rights of homosexual people, and opposition to it as a declaration to the contrary. In writing of the discrimination suffered by homosexual people, you evoke powerful feelings that we all must "right the wrongs." But, despite those feelings, I must challenge your arguments in favour of same-sex marriage.

First, there's a difference between separate-but-equal and different-but-equal. Separate-but-equal means that two entities are inherently the same, but are treated as separate. That's discrimination, and you rightly reject it. Different-but-equal means that two entities are not inherently the same, but are treated equally. That's the antithesis of discrimination. Separate-but-equal is second-class citizenship. Different-but-equal is not.

The question is: Are homosexual and heterosexual unions inherently the same, in which case they should constitute one group of unions, or inherently different, but should be treated equally?

The answer depends on which characteristics of the unions we choose to focus.

If we focus on adult individuals' commitment to each other and public recognition of that commitment (as the courts have done), we can conclude that restricting marriage to opposite-sex unions and having a separate but equal institution for same-sex unions would be discrimination. If, however, we focus on the inherently procreative nature of an opposite-sex union and the absence of that feature in a same-sex union, we can regard the two types of union as different but equal.

You argue previous changes in marriage are precedents for changing marriage to include same-sex couples, citing the fact that husbands once could beat their wives, and interracial marriages and divorce were illegal. These are not relevant.

Institutions have both inherent and collateral features. Inherent features define the institution and cannot be changed without destroying the institution. Collateral features can be changed without such impact. We rightly recognized that women must be treated as equal partners with men within marriage. While that changed the power of husbands over their wives, it simply changed a collateral feature of marriage. Recognizing same-sex marriage would change its inherent nature.

As for interracial marriage, it symbolizes the inherently procreative relationship between a man and a woman and the only reason for prohibiting it is racial discrimination. Same-sex marriage expressly negates this symbolism. That is the reason for denying same-sex partners access to marriage, not their sexual orientation.

Divorce is not analogous. The issue is not whether opposite-sex couples attain the ideals of marriage; neither is the issue whether marriage is a perfect institution.

The issue is whether society needs marriage to institutionalize the inherently procreative relationship between a man and a woman. I believe we do, and maintaining it should take priority. You believe recognizing homosexual people's claims to access to marriage should come first.

The conflict at the heart of our disagreement - as is so often true in ethical dilemmas - is whether societal needs or individual rights should prevail. Important as individual rights are, we can do serious harm in assuming that they should always trump society's needs.

Sincerely, Margo.

Margaret A. Somerville is Samuel Gale Professor of Law at the McGill Centre
for Medicine, Ethics and Law at McGill University.

Googlify your Browser

If you want to make your web browser much better by allowing Google to be the default search engine, then check out this page explaining what you need to do. Just scroll down the page and click on the link for your browser. Actually I'll save you the trouble, IE 6.0 users just click here and then click open. Say ok to all of the windows that popup and you're done. Also to note from that page, once you've updated your registry settings you can do google searches right from the address bar. Just type gg before your search term in the bar and google's search page will come up with that term. For example: gg milner blog will google the term milner blog and come up with googles search results.


I went to Wendy's Hamburger joint the other day with Norman Meyer. We were sitting there eating our food when in walked about six or eight J. W.'s. I got the bright idea of betting Norman five dollars that he didn't dare shout out, "Party in the hall." Without even one second's hesitation he shouted out, "Party in the hall!" Boy I just about fainted. I thought to myself, oh hell what have I done. I pulled out my wallet to get the money but Norman said put your money away.

Love of Your Own Jokes

I love reading my blog posts. I laugh over and over at my own jokes. That "Rectum, nearly killed him joke" gets me every time. Seriously. The other people in my office all want to know why I am laughing so hard right now.

Last night I dreamt that I rented a fancy camera to do some photos to hang on our walls. I've be thinking about renting a camera for awhile now. It probably won't happen until next summer though. I dislike winter shots. Well maybe it's not so much that I hate photos of winter scenes as much as I hate winter. Anyway, it was a medium format camera. I don't think the one I rent in real life will be like the camera I rented in my dream. The one I rented in my dream was made of leather. Real cameras aren't made of leather.

-Gary Milner, needs something to hang on his walls.


"I was writing a post on my PC and it was like bleepeepbleepeepeep bleep." This happened to me yesterday. Actually there was no bleeping. Just the uncensored swearing inside my head as I realized that my knee clicked the switch on the power bar under the desk. Here at The University of Lethbridge they screw the power bars onto the bottoms of the desk so as to be out of the way. They are not out of the way.

My New Jeep

I've been driving the new Jeep around lately. I just got insurance for it, which as I now realize - I should not have paid for an entire year in one foul blow. At least I can cancel my insurance on the car. Anyway the Jeep is great. I'll post a picture later today (if I remember before it gets too dark).

Wednesday, September 17, 2003

Stupid computers

I had a really good post, and then I accidentally hit "back" and it disappeared. We re-join it now, already in progress.


Well ok that's not really what I had written, but I thought it was funny.

Self Portraits

Before I went to Argentina, my opinion of taking a photo of yourself while holding the camera was: Don't do it. It almost always looks dumb because it's hard to aim a camera if you're not looking through the lens. I have seen countless people do it and I absolutely thought that it was a waste of film and more importantly money. Then I was in Argentina just after the world cup held in France, and I did it. I broke down and took a photo of myself, without using the self timer. There was no slow then fast flashing of the little light. Just a camera held at arm's length.

Really I don't know what came over me. I think I only did it that once. But now, I have access to so many more cameras. Four at my work, and three at home. I do it all the time I love it and I do it with Tracie too. Even when she's driving on the highway and that's just plain dangerous.

But to the point. Today, Russ Dyck, aka Rustic, had his Canon D10 in the darkroom, because you don't leave a $3000 camera lying around. Obviously. The problem is that there are several people who have keys to the darkroom. I am one of them, and I love playing with cameras. Especially expensive cameras.

When he downloads his pics, he's in for a surprise. A great surprise. A surprise involving me. If he doesn't delete the pics right away, I might post a couple of them.

-Gary Milner Really Big Internet Surprise

Tuesday, September 16, 2003

Fish Are Friends - Not Food

I knew, at the time, that I would regret later but I was trying to be sensible. I went to an auction the other day to see about buying a fridge. I only wanted to bid $100 for the fridge and also promised myself that I wouldn't bid on anything else. Well now I regret it. There was a piano for auction - a mighty fine sounding upright type piano and I was quite tempted to bid. Probably worth a few thousand now that I think about it. It sold for $250. What was I thinking? I guess I was thinking that I just don't have room in my house for a piano. Maybe I'd have room if I got rid of all the extra washers, dryers, etc! Geez they are really bringing me down lately.

You Can't Tune a Fish, But You Can Tune a Piano!

We had our piano tuned today. Tracie is very pleased. For the record, a piano should be tuned more than once every six years. The best part is now the keys match each other, which is one of the most important parts of a tuned piano, because each key could be out of tune in different directions. It also seems that each note has more than one string, so not only can the key not match the other keys, it's possible to not even match itself.

I also got a very interesting piece of info from the tuner, our piano was made in 1919. The tuner has a "Piano Atlas" which is a book that has lists of serial numbers from about every manufacturer and the date they were made.

We have a very nice piano, it's too bad that the people who owned it before Tracie's parents treated it so poorly. Knowing that it was made in 1919 makes me think of the movie, "The Red Violin". I can't help but wonder where our piano has been before. I'm sure that it has only had a handful of owners, but it is close to 85 years old.

The Tuner was an older gentleman, from Germany. One of a dying breed I might add. He came in his trenchcoat and suit! He dressed up in a suit to tune pianos. How's that for being a flash of year's gone by. He commented on what a nice piano we have. In fact, he also owns a Doherty. He said it has a wonderful singing tone. Apparently they don't make pianos with the same tonal qualities any more. But I'm getting away from what I wanted to talk about, which is where this piano has been.

The Tuner, made a comment that the piano was in very good shape on the inside. It has obviously not been played very much (in over 80 years.) He said that it would probably outlast him. Now he's an oldster, but it got me to thinking more about where this piano had been, and where it would be going in the future. Presumably, Tracie and I will have it for at least the next 20 years, but it wouldn't be unreasonable to think that we will have it for the next 40 years. Who will we give it to? What will happen to it? Wouldn't it be nice to hear all the songs it has played in four score and 5 years?

-Gary Milner

How Do You Make Gravey (sic) Anyway?

Swim practice was really good this afternoon. I am becoming much more consistent in my swimming. It's important to be able to set a pace for yourself and to know how fast you are swimming in the water. I have come along way since I started (again) last year. Now that I'm done class and done my 3D Studio Max tutorial I'm going to head home where I will find a delicious supper made by Anna-Maria. She is so cool and not just because she made supper tonight, which might even include GRAVY! Yum. But maybe not too, I don't really know.

I Ran Into Janine

Actually I didn't run into her literally, I just talked to her for a minute outside the pool when I was renting my locker for the year. She is going to the University still; taking part in some sort of praticum that starts in November (I think). Anyway just have to add, I'm still glad we never got married. Phew!

P.S. I wish Mom would post more. Why don't you? (I hope you realize that instead of writing me an explanation of why you don't, you could just post it on the blog.)

Def Leppard Concert in Calgary

So you want to see "Def Leopard Photos"(sic) from the concert last night? Well I didn't take any pictures myself, but the band did. Of course they mentioned at the concert that it might be 24 hours or so until they get them posted. It's a good way for them to get 10,000 extra hits a day while all the excited fans keep checking over and over to see if the pictures they took of the audience are there yet.

The concert was really fun, a little loud - but hey at least we remembered to bring ear plugs so it wasn't that bad. The noise of the crowd was the worst, the fans were very excited last night. So here's the deal with our seats. Anna and I never inspected our tickets very carefully. We just sort of assumed that row 11, seats 5 and 6 meant Row 11, seats 5 and 6 - right up there on the floor. We walked down the stairs and right through security. They never looked at our tickets very carefully either. They just stamped our hands and our tickets and told us to keep moving. We were sitting up there in the 11th row enjoying the opening band when someone came up to us and wondered why we were sitting in their seats. We pulled out our tickets and they both appeared to be for the same seats, but then we realized that our tickets were for section 113. Oops. Well we moved and decided that now that we were already down in the floor seating we would just sit in some empty seats and stay down there. There were a few guys wearing Mullet wigs, but for the most part, it appears that fans of Def Leppard have traded in their mullets for bald spots. Hard core rockers are getting old. However, the relative age of the audience was not apparent when we listened to their enthusiastic cheers. According to lead singer Joe Elliot we are at least as loud as Montreal and Saskatoon (he mentioned that he was surprised at how loud Saskatoon was, given that they are in the middle of nowhere).

Despite being extremely tired last night, I forced myself to drive home. We got back around 1:45am and when 6:00 rolled around there was no way I was going to go swimming. I was just too tired. I'll try and get in for this afternoon's practice before my 4:30 class.

This morning I did get up though and called the radio station to say thanks and tell them about the concert. They played a short clip of our conversation on the air. I think I sound terrible on the radio. It just occurred to me that since I won the free tickets, I wonder if I will be eligible for the Toys for Boys contest? I mean it seems to me that you can't have won anything in the past 30 days. Well chances are I'm not going to get drawn anyway, so no sense losing sleep over it.

The Cable Guy

We finally buckled. My roommates and I are getting cable. The cable guy is supposed to be coming on Wednesday - they said that someone needs to be home all day. I don't know how they get off having someone ruin their day waiting for the stupid cable guy to come, you'd think they could at least narrow it down to a couple of hours. Well I guess that's just the way the world works. Hopefully with all the roommates that I have now at least one of them will be able to stick around. Speaking of roommates, I was happily surprised to find that while I was in Calgary my roommates moved the fridge in for me. Sure now that I have another fridge my house looks even more like a furniture / appliance store, but it's a store with plenty of food.

Bad Advertisers at the Gauntlet

I have been getting a lot of hits about the "get me drunk" ad so I have decided to address it. All you people wondering "how to make gravey" and about the "Def Leopard Calgary" concert will just have to wait. Hopefully you won't be needing the gravy any time soon.

First of all, here is a link to the official response written by the Editor of the Gauntlet

Second of all, lots of people have expressed their shame at being students at the U of C, because of the advertisements in the Gauntlet. Let me make it clear that the Gauntlet and the University are two different things. The Gauntlet is not run by the University. It is not controlled by the SU. It is an individual entity. It's ok to be ashamed of the University and possibly even the SU, but it really should be for reasons other than things that advertisers have published in the Gauntlet.

Third of all, does seeing these ads make you want to go to the nightclubs being advertised, or stay away? Does knowing how trashy these bars are make you thirsty? When women stop going to these bars, the boys will stop going too. It would only take about 30 seconds for the boys to realize that there are no women in the establishment. When the people stop going, the bars with either close or change the way they entice people to come in. Really, it would not take that big of a group of customers not going to a bar to put it out of business. How many people go to a bar on any given night? A thousand? Two thousand? If you can convince a thousand regulars to switch to a different bar, how long would it take to hurt the bar? A week or two weeks? You can make your complaint into a major news story (at least online) but you can't convince people to not go to these few bars?

Last of all, more letters need to be sent discouraging these type of ads. Show your dissatisfaction as soon after the paper is released as possible. Had the first email come in one day sooner the ad wouldn't have been printed a second time. I would also suggest that you write letters that make the people in the office think, not letters that make us want to make fun of you. What's the point of swearing in your correspondence?

> But this week's newspaper has
> made me f-----g furious.

That's pretty furious. I hope I never meet you in person while you are that furious. Lisa, do you think that, comments about how f-----g furious you are make your argument against the ads more effective? I think they make people want to make fun of you, because really nobody cares how furious you are. Next time count to 10, then write your email.

Monday, September 15, 2003

Fridge Update Update

The fridge has arrived. It is in my backyard waiting for someone strong to move it downstairs. Anna thinks she is strong enough to help but reality will hit hard when she finds herself under the fridge at the bottom of the stairs.

Fridge Update

I've decided to get a second hand fridge which will be dropped off at my house at 11:30 today. It's $150 but needless to say it's going to be a nice change to have some room for food. Now I just need to get a second stove so that half the roommates can use the downstairs laundry room as a kitchen and pretty much leave us alone upstairs. Not that I find them bothersome, it is just that it gets crowded with five people in one kitchen. (Actually I'm just joking about the stove - for now).

Go Deaf for Def Leppard Update

It looks as though Anna and I are really going to the Def Leppard (Official Site) concert tonight. We don't really want to go deaf so I think we'll try to remember to pick up some ear plugs before we go. We'll be leaving for Calgary at around 4:00 this afternoon and will "get rocked" from 7:30 until they're done I guess. It's doubtful that we will be seeing Gary or Tracie tonight but tune in to Rock 106 tomorrow morning between 7 and 8 when I will phone the radio station up and tell them how the concert was. If you don't live in Lethbridge then you can go to their website and click on listen live. Even though we could scalp the tickets and make a mint (they are 11th row floor seats) I think it will be worth it to go and have a good time.

Sunday, September 14, 2003

Toys for Boys

In addition to winning the tickets to Def Leppard, Anna and I were entered into Rock 106's Toys for Boys Contest. The prizes include:

    A Big Screen TV from Vision Electronics worth $2500 dollars.
    A Rock 106 Logoed Fridge from The Roadhouse
    Free Pizza for a year from Little Caesar's
    A Custom Built Computer from Computing Excellence
    A 4X9 pool table from Dan's Den
    A premiere Cabria 5 piece drum kit from Prueggers Music
    A complete Wilson golf package including clubs, bag, balls, shoes, pants and shirt from Nevada Bob's
    A complete Burton Snowboard Package including Board, bindings, boots, pants and jacket from Boarderline in Downtown Lethbridge
    2003-2004 seasons tickets from the Lethbridge Hurricanes
    Free movies for a year from The Movie Mill
    A Sumsung A460 Flip-Phone and cell phone starter kit, plus a Bell Express VU satellite system with the personal video recorder from Discovery Computers and Wireless.
    A 3 Year Membership for the new Gold's Gym.
    Two season passes from Castle Mountain and last but definitely not least
    The Kawasaki 360 ATV 4X4.
Job Hunting in Waterton

Anna and I drove up to Waterton yesterday. She had an interview for a job in the national park. It's a good and bad deal because while Anna can start working right now, she will have to live in Waterton (just because it's too far to drive in from Lethbridge) and so that sucks because we won't be able to see each other very often. I guess I'm hoping she won't go for it, but we'll see what she decides. That was pretty much my trip to Waterton, fairly uneventful, but we did get some delicious ice-cream from the Big Scoop.

Y Staff Party at Urszula's

Later that night Anna and I headed up to the north side of town to Urszula's for a BBQ with the rest of the Aquatics Staff. It was pretty fun and after having a couple of burgers some of us competed in some friendly Indian Leg Wrestling. Vicky seemed to dominate most of the leg wrestling. Actually I don't think she even lost. Sadly I was one of the people that lost to her. Anna is so flexible that her body was basically folded in half - I wish I had a picture to post but alas, I don't. Everyone had a good time at the party and then we headed home fairly early because we had to get up early to head off to Medicine Hat the next morning.

Medicine Hat Again

If it seems like I drive Medicine Hat every weekend, it is because I come here almost every single weekend. We are visiting to celebrate Jake's Birthday (it's tomorrow). We are going out for lunch with Jake, Anna, Lana, and Pam right now.

Saturday, September 13, 2003

14 Year Old Girls Love Cell Phones

I was riding the bus home today, when a group of 6, 14-15 year old girls got on. While they were obviously all in a group together, 4 of them were having different conversations on cell phones.

Now, I'm no teen girl, but it seems to me to be better to have a conversation with the people you're with.

-Gary Milner, really big internet superstar

Friday, September 12, 2003

A Flock of Feminists

We wrote an article about date rape in the gauntlet and Tracie posed for the picture. She a quite lovely hand model, by the way. In the same issue we ran three or four ads for bars featuring scantily clad ladies. Seven days later, we got this letter:

> Hello
> My name is Emily Elder. I'm a fourth year student. Today I picked up a copy
> of the Gauntlet, always interested to see what the campus newspapers are
> doing, as I was interested in writing for the Gauntlet. What I saw made me
> think twice.
> Your article on page nine, "Watch Your Drinks" covers a crucial topic to the
> campus undergrad population, most of whom are female. It's a very good and
> important article. However, I found several other features of your paper
> profoundly offensive.
> The Whiskey ad on page 19 more than compensates for any cautionary impulses
> that might result from "Watch Your Drinks." Not only are the images
> degrading to and objectifying of women, they exclusively appeal to a
> heterosexual male audience. This audience is further incited to exploit
> women by the text on the button "Get Me Drunk and See Then What Happens". The
> message? Women are only bodies to be used as one sees fit, once they're too
> drunk to consciously choose.
> Past that, I count 2 ads on pg 22, and on pg 29 the same Crazy Horse ad as
> pg 22 which are also unacceptable images. I noticed that these semi-nude or
> suggestive images of women are the only ones in your publication. All other
> images used in advertising are male.
> Basically, these ads are sexist, degrading, and an exploitative use of
> space. I don't want my student fees to go to a publication that condones
> violence of any sort, especially not sexual violence.
> If you're interested in rectifying the gender imbalance that extends to the
> content and tone of your paper, consider a permanent women's page. Since
> there isn't a Women's Centre on campus, there should at least be a voice to
> mitigate the effects of your ads. It wouldn't even be as dogmatic or boring
> as you might think.
> I hope to hear your response.
> Thanks for your time.
> Emily Elder

Apparently, the graphic artist for the Whiskey took it upon himself to add the "Get me Drunk..." text and the owner of the bar didn't notice it when he approved it. Our ad manager didn't notice it, our ad layout guy didn't notice and our editor in chief didn't notice it. It ran a second time before anyone realized it.

Hopefully, her letter will help to clean up the ads in our paper.

-Gary Milner, Really Big Internet Superstar


According to the first presidency, "we are not to resist evil." Two examples are given that clarify what is meant by resisting evil. First, "if a person smites you on the right cheek, turn and let him smite you on the left cheek." The second example is that "if a person sues for you coat, let him have not only your coat but your cloak also." This caused me to wonder if the afore mentioned smite is only a little love smite or a full blown punch in the face which causes teeth to fly. Or perhaps the smite might be a bash with a softball bat or slash with a sword. Maybe a poolcue or a hockey stick. I also wondered about the sueing thing. Would this only apply to your coat or could it be your house and life savings? Right off hand I'm thinking this doesn't sound like very sage advice. So now I'm perplexed. Should I be smart and avoid being smitten in the face or should I be righteous but stupid. I guess I'll be righteous but my advice to you is don't try this at home.

Go Deaf for Def Leppard Update

At the crack of dawn this morning Anna-Maria and I headed off to Rock 106 to try and win some concert tickets. When I got there, there was only one other contestant. Things were looking up, but then they got on the radio and asked more people to come down and be in on the contest. Well a few more people started to show up and after a slight mishap with dead batteries in the decibel reader they got things underway. First off, I should explain the basis behind this concert. The idea was that whoever sang the loudest Def Leppard line would win tickets to the Def Leppard concert on Monday. They talked Anna into also participating and she sang at an amazing 101.2 decibels (or was it 102.1?) She sang Pour a Little Sugar on Me - which she said she didn't even know and nobody else sang louder than Anna-Maria, in fact nobody else even broke 100 decibels, except for me. I yelled a spectacular 106.6 decibels of Let's Get Rocked and then after the contest was over did an encore performance and sang at 108.1! We won the tickets and now all that's between me and Def Leppard is getting out of my evening class on Monday night. We are pumped.

Thursday, September 11, 2003

Cookies, Cookies, Ha Ha Ha, Cookies, Cookies, Ra Ra Ra

I have been trying to get cookies working for my e-commerce website, and I finally have. What a relief. Now I can go to my systems analysis and design class and dream about gouging my brains out, without the cookie problem hanging over my head.

Things and Stuff 2: More Things, More Stuff, with a vengeance, reloaded

I don't know if you remember last year, but I wrote about my things and stuff prof who can talk for an hour without actually saying anything. It's her. I'm already dreading it. I'm fantasizing about lipping her off already, and we haven't even had the first class yet, I don't even have a class outline.

-Gary Milner hates his things and stuff prof.

Patriot Day > Talk Like a Pirate Day

Today is Patriot Day, not as fun as Talk Like a Pirate Day but probably a lot more important.

New Features on Blogger

In case you didn't notice, yesterday Blogger released some new features including:

    Daily Archiving
    Post Titles
    Post Template
So there shouldn't be any more problems using the Title bar, but most importantly don't forget to spellcheck (it's the little icon with ABC and a checkmark on it).

In related Blogger news, Blogger.com has decided to elimate the Blogger Pro section of the website and incorporate these new features into free blogger. Wow.

Wednesday, September 10, 2003

If the RIAA doesn't interest you, then maybe this is a pirate story you'll like:

September 19th is just around the corner matey, and with it comes the infamous Talk like a Pirate Day! So Bloggers of the world (and specifically of this site) a week from Friday I expect everyone to be talking like a pirate because deep down thar be a pirate in each of us. To get you started, me hearties, here are the five basic pirate words that you cannot live without. Master them, and you can face Talk Like a Pirate Day with a smile on your face and a parrot on your shoulder, if that's your thing.

Ahoy! - "Hello!"

Avast! - Stop and give attention. It can be used in a sense of surprise, "Whoa! Get a load of that!" which today makes it more of a "Check it out" or "No way!" or "Get off!"

Aye! - "Why yes, I agree most heartily with everything you just said or did."

Aye aye! - "I'll get right on that sir, as soon as my break is over."

Arrr! - This one is often confused with arrrgh, which is of course the sound you make when you sit on a belaying pin. "Arrr!" can mean, variously, "yes," "I agree," "I'm happy," "I'm enjoying this beer," "My team is going to win it all," "I saw that television show, it sucked!" and "That was a clever remark you or I just made." And those are just a few of the myriad possibilities of Arrr!

Here is a more comprehensive pirate jargon list.

Tuesday, September 09, 2003

You Can't Keep the Mountain, But How About an Airport?

Former Prime Minister Pierre Trudeau was honoured today at a ceremony to rename Montreal-Dorval International Airport to Trudeau Airport. "The world remembers Pierre Elliott Trudeau," Alexandre (Sacha) Trudeau told several dozen family members, friends and other invited guests. And of course you know what they remember? "For us, Trudeau is a dictator" said one unhappy Quebecois who wishes they would just leave the airport's name alone.

Girl 12, Settles Lawsuit

In case you didn't hear, the RIAA laid charges on a 12 year old girl from New York State for copyright violations by downloading music over the Internet. It has now been announced that the RIAA has rushed to settle with the young Brianna LaHara, after serving her with a lawsuit on Monday. It looks like her single mother will be paying a $2,000 fine to the RIAA for her daughter's song-swapping, which they had thought was legal. They purchased the software that allowed them to swap files with other users. Quoting Brianna: "I am sorry for what I have done. I love music and don't want to hurt the artists I love." What a relief this must be for Metallica. You might think that the RIAA was being excessive but see, downloading files is just a gateway crime... by the time this girl is 17, she'll be knocking off liquor stores, and in her early 20's she'll be doing banks! Thank goodness for American justice.

Swim Season 2003/2004 - How to Deal with Muscle Cramps

I just finished the first swim practice of this season. I am exhausted. I could feel my legs ready to cramp up at any second; my right leg did cramp up just as I was getting out of the pool at the end of practice. If you have never had a leg cramp let me tell you, it is a very painful experience. The best thing to do to prevent leg cramps is to eat food with lots of potassium, like bananas. The best thing to do when you already have a cramp is to straighten out your leg - although at the time that may seem like the last thing you want to do. It was such a painful big cramp that I could actually see the muscles bulging out where the cramp was. Tonight I will consume a whole tree of bananas.

Monday, September 08, 2003

My Thoughts on Dumb People Who Aren't Frosh:

'I see dumb people' image

A Legion of Lady Couples

I've been to 3 concerts so far to take photos. There have been ups and downs. I'll be posting pics of "Tegan and Sara", or more likely, links to pics of "Tegan and Sara". I'll mainly be doing this because they're from Calgary, and because there were a lot of "Lady Couples" at the concert. If you know what I mean. It really suprised me. I wouldn't have guessed that there could be so many "Lady Couples" in the whole province let alone in one concert at Mac Hall.

Apparently, people from my office were making fun of the quantity of "Lady Couples" in the bar directly below the concert hall, and a pair gave them a pretty dirty look. I wish I could have seen it.

Here are the pictures of Tegan and Sara. One, Two, Three, and Four. I don't know which is which, because I am not a fan, not because they are twins.

Dumb People Who Aren't Frosh

Every year at the University, we get a large number of new students called frosh. It is very popluar to complain how dumb the frosh are.

They do things like have a conversation in a group of five or more at the bottom of the stairs or in the narrowest part of an important hallway.

The point I am trying to make, is that it's not just the frosh. There are dumb people everywhere. People that go against the flow of traffic on the stairs or who refuse to open the second door on a two door set.

-Gary Milner Really Big Internet Superstar

Let's Get Rocked with Rock 106

I forgot to mention that this morning on the radio I heard them talking about free tickets for Def Leopard for the next 10 callers. Well I whipped out the cell phone and called in and then Fraser and Rosie (the breakfast boys) explained to me that I didn't win yet but that I had to come down to the studio on Friday morning and sing a short clip from Def Leopard. Whoever sings the loudest will win the tickets. Somewhat hesitantly I told them I would be there.

The Fridge, The Roommate, and Me

It's finally come to this. I need a second fridge. Not just for space - but for sanitation reasons as well. One of my roommates had one of those giant cans of tomato sauce in the fridge. You know the kind I mean, they must hold about 5 litre of sauce. Well instead of sealing it away in any kind of airtight container he just cut the lid half way off, folded it up to use it and then folded it back down to, you know, keep the mold out. Well needless to say he had a fine culture growing rapidly in a mostly full 5 litre can of tomato sauce. He seemed hesitant to throw it out.

He did eventually throw it out and we cleaned the fridge up pretty good. However, the situation still requires a second fridge for all of our food. Anna's mother so kindly gave her a huge amount of groceries and we don't want any of it to go bad so we need more fridge space. Luckily everything fit so far. We really do appreciate the groceries. So if anyone has a fridge for sale or for "giving away" please let me know.

Make-Up Artist for Hire

I told Anna that I might advertise her skills as a make-up artist for this Halloween. She would have a blast doing it and whoever had their fancy custom made mask / custom would really love it too. It's a win / win situation. They could slap on some old age makeup or try out some elf ears. I'm sure Anna could come up with a lot of other cool ideas too. Maybe Mom or Dad would like her help to dress up this year. I'm guessing Mom really would like something fancy to show off for her Kindergarten. Hopefully she (Anna) is not off working someplace when Halloween rolls around.

Sunday, September 07, 2003

Anna's Back and We're Both in the Hat

Anna-Maria arrived back in Western Canada on Friday afternoon. We spent the day shopping at Chinook Centre and decided to go back to Lethbridge rather than spend the night in Calgary. We saw Finding Nemo here in the Hat yesterday and I still give it two fins up. Although with fish movies two fins up does imply belly-up which is bad, I mean it in the two fins up - it's really good even the second time, way.

Burnination at Kelsey's

Anna's brother Josh works at Kelsey's. Last night he phoned home to let his parents know that he was "very badly burned" and would like someone to bring him some ointment and second skin to put on the burn. Well he had us pretty worried. Lana and I went to check it out and bring him the first aid. He explained that while he was pouring some hot greese from one container to another and rubbed his arm up against the pot but it turned out that while it probably hurt quite a bit, his arm seemed to be ok just a little red, no broken skin though, not even a blister.

Jeff Milner Video Game Review: Pirates + Xbox = Fun

A long, long, time ago Gary purchased a game for our Laser Computer (Apple II Compatible) called Pirates. It never did work on that computer. Well yesterday Anna's sisters got a game for their Xbox called Pirates of the Caribbean (Official Site) and boy is it ever cool. I mean for a single player game, boy is it ever cool. In a lot of ways it takes me back to the way gaming used to be played. It reminds me of Dragon Warrior in that you go around talking to people and completing different tasks. It also reminds me of Taipan (another classic from our Apple II gaming days). I wonder if it's possible to expoit the loan shark high interest trick in that game? In conclusion, I must admit that while I've only played it for a little bit and I don't really know all about the game, from what I did see I liked it.

Saturday, September 06, 2003


Some revelers at a wild party in a couple of days ago in Medicine Hat shot at the police with a pellet gun. The police actually considered returning fire at one point but decided not to since the shots came from out of darkness and it was hard for the police to pinpoint the where-abouts of the shooters. So the police just hunkered down and called for backups. No details were given as to how they caught the shooters but they managed to round up four or five guys. One of the guys they rounded up is a lawyer in town by the name of Roy Link. Roy is also the acting president of the Medicine Hat Bar association. The maximum sentence somebody could get for this is ten years. Here's the irony : He's a lawyer and they just now have something on him.

Friday, September 05, 2003

Congratulations on the New Jeep Grand Cherokee

It's great that you were able to get the Jeep. I hope you got a steal of a deal on it. You needed a new ride pretty bad. So tell us more about the SUV, how much does it weigh (in pounds and ounces, please)? You know the important stats.

I'm looking forward to seeing you, but I imagine that since it's 11:30 that you aren't coming tonight. Maybe you went back to Disneyland.

E-Commerce Almost E-Completed

Well I have one day left in my e-commerce class, today seemed to fly by pretty fast, but it's probably because the Prof. only lectured for 2 hours and then showed us how to code in Coldfusion for 2 hours, and then spent 4 hours helping people debug the stuff they were supposed to be copying off the screen.

That class is quite possibly an indication of the future. Everyone is sitting at a computer. The Prof. writes notes on the board by typing them on his computer. Everyone else types along. I think some people have problems keeping up, but I type at just about the same speed as him, and I find it easy to catch up on the typing when he's explaining a finer point or answering a question. Any way about 4 hours into the second last class, one of the kids asks him if he will just save the typing that he's doing and post it to the website so that the whole class doesn't have to type along with him, and he did.

Not that that sort of thing is new. One time in high school I asked a teacher if she would just photocopy the notes she was writing on the overhead projector. It turned out that she didn't think that was a good idea. I guess that high school teachers are paid to keep the kids busy more than anything. Even the typing teachers, although the tedious hours of typing actually teach you something. To this day, I still say that the only valuable class I took in high school was typing 10.

Gary Milner, Really Big Internet Superstar

Jeff Milner: Proud Owner of 1996 Jeep Grand Cherokee

I purchased my roommates Jeep this morning. I'm extremely excited about it and would like to post more but . . .

Anna-Maria is Flying Back From Montreal Today!

Anna is flying in to Calgary today at around 2:30pm. I am driving up to Calgary to pick her up and will probably go to visit Gary and Tracie tonight as well, perhaps take in that movie about the guy with the "underground" comics.

Thursday, September 04, 2003


As I sit in my e-commerce class, I am being violated.... in the nostrils. Apparently they sell microwave popcorn in somewhere in the faculty of management. I guess that's better than smelling Kelowna burning.

By the way, in the movie Red Dawn, there were no enormus explosions that caused the world to change colours. The only thing that changes colours is your skin going green as Patrick Swayze and Charlie Sheen star as, "...teenagers who band together to defend their town, and their country, from invading Soviet forces."

Book Buying for Dummies

If you haven't already purchased the books you absolutely need, check the library. That way you don't accidentially lose your receipt or go over the return grace period.

-Gary Milner,
They still call me a really big internet superstar

Burn Baby Burn

When I woke up this morning and looked out the window I wonder what was wrong with the world. Smoke from forest fires nearby made everything tinted Matrix green. The radio announces said it reminded them of the movie Red Dawn - like somebody dropped a bomb on us. Apparently the fires are getting worse and 3200 more people have been evacuated in Kelowna. The smoke we have here is from Cranbrook and probably won't clear until Friday.

Book Buying Strategies

The thing about ordering my books online is that I'll have to wait for them to arrive. Now what I plan to do is buy the books that I absolutely need from the bookstore and return them before the end of the 15 day grace period. That is all.

Wednesday, September 03, 2003

Gary Milner's Secret to Getting Cheap Software Required for Your Ecommerce Class

I'll will also make this brief and to the point. Some software (such as dreamweaver) can be purchased for $157.20. A 30 day full demo can also be downloaded. If your assignment is due in 27 days, you can download the demo and finish your assignment before it expires.

This block week course is turning out to be a lot better than I thought it would be. By the end, I will have a working internet auction website.

Gary Milner's Other Secrets to Buying Cheap Books

1. Buy used books.
2. Most text books are kept on reserve in one of the libraries. If have a small class, there is a good chance that you will be the only one who tries to get the book from the library. Everyone else will just buy it.
3. If the book is small, but expensive. Buy it a week before the midterm, read it then return it before your 10 day grace period expires. You have to make sure that you can read it in time, and that you don't keep it too long to avoid restocking fees. Don't lose the receipt.

-Gary Milner, really big internet superstar

Jeff Milner's Secret to Buying Cheap Books

I'll make this brief and right to the point. Some books can be purchased only at the University bookstore. Those ones you just have to buy. To buy some of the required books, that are available elsewhere, from the University bookstore would cost me $261.84. To buy the same books from Chapters Bookstore will cost $183.27. That is a savings of $78.57. Wow.

First Day of School

It's the first day of classes. I just got out of Drama. There are some interesting people in my class. There is one person whom came dressed in black, had a terrible lisp and he tells us he's a fashion designer by trade and a cross-dresser by profession. What I want to know is where do you work as a cross dresser in Lethbridge? Seems like you wouldn't have much of a market for something like that here.

I have a break until 2:00 this afternoon. In the meantime I think I'll find a class to "audit". Checking out classes you are not enrolled in can be very educational. You can meet new people, decide whether you want to take that class at a later time or decide that you never want to take a class with certain proffessors. I'll let you know how it turns out. I better go find one quickly.

Block Week

Well I'm back in my block week course, and we are watching a movie called "Hacker's: Heros and Villians". I have seen this movie twice already, once on tv, once in a class last semester. It doesn't get two thumbs up.

Tuesday, September 02, 2003

Two Thumbs Way Up

Tracie and I went to American Splendor last night, to celebrate the end of summer and beginning of school. It's about a file clerk called Harvey Pekar. It's a true story, and the actual Harvey Pekar is the narrator of the movie.

Pekar is an ordinary guy, with an ordinary job who by some miracle befriends a successful comic book author and illustrator. Even though he cannot draw to save his life, he decides that he would like to make a little extra cash and does so by writing a comic book about is own life. He pitches it to the illustrator by saying, "Ordinary life is pretty complex stuff."

The movie incorporates interviews with Harvey as well as clips of when he appeared on Dave Letterman to plug his comic book.

If your town isn't too small to have this movie in your theatre, I recommend it.

-Gary Milner, Really Big Internet Superstar