Monday, January 28, 2008

A Newfie, a Quebecer, and an Albertan

A Newfie, a Quebecer, and an Albertan were walking down the road together and they bumped into a lantern with a genie inside. Out pops the genie and he says, "I will grant you one wish each. Who wants to go first?"

The Newfie says, "Me, I want to go first."

So the genie replies, "Ok, what is your wish?"

The Newfie said, "My wish is to have a 2-lane highway across Newfoundland, smooth as a baby's arse!" The genie said, "Poof! There you go. A highway as smooth as a baby's arse!"

The Quebecer pipes up and says, "Well I am going next! Genie, Iwant a 20-foot wall around the border of Quebec to keep all the damn Englishmen out!"

Genie, "Poof! There's your 20-foot wall. Now Albertan, it is your turn. What do you want?" The Newfie looks at the genie and asks, "Genie, is that wall you just put around Quebec waterproof?"

Genie, "Yep!"

Albertan, "Filler up!"

Thursday, January 24, 2008

Robbed With a Bic

One time my friend Wilson and I were walking down the street, one very similar to this one. As we passed the telephone pole, a man stopped us and said, "Give me some money for cigarettes." We told him that we didn't have any. He put his hand in his pocket and told us he had a gun.

I didn't believe him. It looked like the outline of a Bic lighter pressed against the inside of his pocket. It didn't scare me, but now that I think about it, he was pointing it at Wilson. Probably because he was a native speaker. I guess the guy figured I couldn't understand what he was saying. Wilson gave him $0.50 and I pushed on and said, "Let's go" and we walked away.

We were on our way to get our laundry done and so we each had a weeks worth of clothes in bags over our shoulders, and I was in no mood for a scuffle. We continued on our way and I made fun of Wilson, but I guess he didn't really deserve it. I really enjoyed my time with him. We talked a lot and joked around the whole time we were together.


Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Tres Veces

I've been here three times.

The first time was by accident. The 3 people I was traveling with weren't paying attention. I was looking out the window and saw the world's second largest Wal-Mart (at the time) and thought, "I could have sworn we were supposed to get off before we got here, but those three know where they are going." As we were rounding the last bend in the tracks one of the others said, "OH CRAP! That's Constitución!" When the train stopped, we all got off and started walking. "What are we going to do?!?!?!" They said. I suggested that since this was the end of the line, we should just get back on and wait for the train to go back the way it came. Fortunately it actually did go back the way it came without being diverted.

The second time I could have died. I was very sick, the sickest I've ever been in my life, coughing up blood. I couldn't walk more than a few steps without being out of breath. I made a call and told them I was going to the hospital. They said ok, but didn't realize how serious it was at the time. About three stations away, I saw a large group of people running towards the train, and it stayed in the station much longer than usual. When it finally left, it seemed like the train was straining against the weight of the new passengers. When we arrived, and descended from there was loud shouting and cheering behind us. It seems as if the crowd was almost entirely at the back of the train. As we were arriving at the turnstile where you show your ticket to the guards, the head guard blew his whistle and waved his hand in the air. All the guards stepped back towards the wall, we wisely decided to join them. The crowd's spirits were high their team had just won the sub 20 world cup, they were partying. I expected a little trouble, especially as they were passing the station vendors but they just passed by cheering and banging every piece of sheet metal in the place as they went. They didn't have tickets and the guards knew it, but they also knew that it matters less that a couple of hundred partiers pay to ride the train than it matters when they smash the place up. We asked for directions to the hospital and I was relieve to know it was only two blocks away.

The third visit was as a tourist. We were just passing the day seeing the sights without a care. We didn't see much not having a plan, but it was fun.

I'm more excited for this, than I've been in a long time. This trip is bringing up a lot of emotions. I can't wait.


Monday, January 21, 2008

A donde vas?

I bought my plane ticket today! I'm so excited. I'm leaving on March 10th and coming back March 29th.

Tuesday, January 15, 2008


This is a test shot I did for a series of photos I am going to do for istock. I really like it, but I think the focus needs to be a little better and I want to control the light just a little more.

The flashes are a lot more powerful than I though and light spilled onto the roof and far wall. I was hoping to have a more black background with only the hoop and ball lit up. This one would have been perfect because the ball logo isn't visible.


Friday, January 11, 2008

Three Cute Girls

I had a photo shoot at the college on Wednesday. We made 250 photos. I was able to narrow that down to 130, and I uploaded 23 of those to istock.

The models had a good time, which is always nice if you want to work with them again. I got a lot of good learning in, placing the lights is pretty hard to do on the fly, but you get better at it. Considering this is my first time using a pair of speed lights off camera and just putting them on automatic I'm pretty happy with how the pictures turned out.

Personality in a model counts for so much and these girls were great. I had so much fun. Hopefully I can get together with them for another shoot soon. In the next two weeks or so. I have a couple of ideas. Maybe something in the computer lab and watching tv at home.

I just got an email from a friend of mine. He says that his little sister wants to model for me and she can get a group of her friends. I have the idea to do some more school themed photos. Possibly bullying, studying or other school life.


Monday, January 07, 2008

The Tree That Owns Itself

The Tree That Owns Itself is a white oak tree, widely assumed to have legal ownership of itself and of all land within eight feet (2.4 m) of its base. The tree is located at the corner of Finley and Dearing Streets in Athens, Georgia, USA. The original tree fell in 1942; a new tree was grown from one of its acorns and planted in the same location. The current tree is sometimes referred to as the Son of The Tree That Owns Itself. Both trees have appeared in numerous national publications, and the site is a local landmark.

Read about it on Wikipedia.

Snail Mail

I received a text message from Tracie the other day.

She told me that the court papers arrived and that she had been to a justice of the peace to certify that she had received them. She also said that they are now back in the mail to Canada.

Here permanent residency application was approved and she has flown to New Zealand to comply with the restriction that you have to be out of the country for PR to come into effect. She's staying there for about a week.

It's the end of the world as I know it, and I feel fine.


Wednesday, January 02, 2008

Big Day Tomorrow

January the third marks a big day for me. It marks the end of my year long separation from Tracie. A couple must live apart for one year to be eligible for a no fault divorce in Canada. The couple is allowed to live together for 90 days during that time in an attempt to patch things up. We took our 90 days, but I was told it didn't help, and was sent back here to Canada.

I have obtained a Canadian court order to serve Tracie the divorce papers in Australia and they have been in the mail for the last couple of weeks. When she receives them, she needs to see a notary to prove that she received them and send them back. I hope she has done all that already or at least received the papers. A lot of stuff in Australia seems to shut down for a long time over the holidays. It would great if her stuff was already in the mail.

Then we can begin our actual divorce; It is mostly just paperwork. When the paperwork is completed the judge will set a certain amount of time for Tracie to contest certain points, (not that she will) and then when that period is up, that will be it.

I haven't felt like writing much lately, although I really do enjoy it. Other than that I feel mostly good, and as time passes I'm feeling better and better. There seems to be light at the end of the tunnel. Maybe I haven't written because this subject is such a bring down for myself and for the 12 people that read it. All I can do is keep moving forward. Onward and Upward, isn't that what they say?

Hang in there dear readers, there will likely only be two more posts about this stupid divorce, one when we file for it and the other when it becomes final. By then my life will be consumed with funner projects and beyond that my triumphant return to the world of dating.

I've often wondered what it would be like to be transported back in time to my youth with the knowledge that I currently have. Now that it seems like I'm coming the closest I ever will to doing that, I realize that I don't have any more knowledge now than I ever had before.

Oh well.

At least I'll have something fun to write about.