Did you every wish that there was an easier way to shave?

Mall Update

Every time I go to a mall I hate it even more, which is weird. I like buying stuff, I like having stuff, and I like spending money. I am a consumer. What I hate is going to the mall. I hate everything about it. I hate not being able to find a parking spot, I hate pedestrians in the parking lot, I hate walking through the hall of the mall, I hate the stupid people who walk too slow, 5 wide so that you can't get around them, I hate the people who just randomly stop and I hate the poor service that people at the mall give you.

Where is this leading, you may ask? I was at the mall the other day, and not being able to find a parking spot put me in a grumpy mood first thing. Then as we were going to the optometrist, stupid people in the aisles, stopping then moving on just as you were just about to go around. Then having to wade through masses of people between the Bay and the eye doctor. Then when we do get to the eye doctor the stupid secretaries dressed like nurses laughing to themselves at the fact that you have to book in advance. It just puts me in a bad mood. Then to make matters worse at the other eye doctor in the mall, the secretary tells me to wait while she types a form into the computer. Apparently it's more important to type a form into the computer and make someone wait for 5 minutes than to make an appointment. It's like the doctor makes his money by having the secretary enter forms into the computer, not by actually doing eye exams. So, she finally gets done typing the form, for someone who isn't even in the room and who has probably already left, and I get to ask her my question.

Q. Gary: "Do you accept blue cross, or do I have to pay up front and then get reimbursed from them?
A. Stupid secretary: "Yes"

At this point I realize that I'm dealing with a real dolt. I think to myself, "Did I just ask a yes or no question? I really don't understand her answer. What does yes mean? Yes what? Yes I'm a really dumb secretary?" So I finally end up saying, "Yes what?" After that ordeal, I asked her if she had any openings that day. (Luckily it was a yes or no question) She said no, so I just left. As I was going out the door she asked if I wanted an appointment for Tuesday, but I was already most of the way out the door so I just kept walking. Broken and defeated by the mall.

If you think the United States has stood still, who built the largest shopping center in the world?
Richard M. Nixon (1913-1994)