Milk

If you ever get a roommate, who has never lived away from home before, please tell him not to eat your food otherwise you may wake up in the morning without any milk for breakfast, or at least notice that most of it is gone.

French American Relations

Ok, this next section is for all those Americans who come to read the Milner Blog. We simply cannot allow the close relationship between the Americans and French to be destroyed because of some silly little dispute over who gets to run the world. That is why today I am calling upon you, my American blog readers, to ''extend the olive jar'' to our French brothers and sisters. I want you to deliberately approach French people wherever you can find them -- on the street, on the Internet, in the ''Small World'' ride at Disney World, in public restrooms -- and make friendly conversation to them in their own language (French). To help you do this, here is a list of friendly French phrases:

''Bonjour, personne francaise!'' ("Hello, French person!'')

''Je suis un Americain, et, dangue il, je vais vous donner une grande vieille etreinte!'' ("I am an American and, dang it, I am going to give you a big old hug!'')

''Parole! Vous ne sentez pas demi aussi de mauvais que j'ai prevu!'' ("Say! You do not smell half as bad as I expected!'')

''Qui s'inquiete qui court darned le monde?'' ("Who cares who runs the darned world?'')

''Voulez-vous la gomme? Elle ketchup-est assaisonnee!'' ("Do you want gum? It's ketchup-flavored!'')

''Voulez que je vous porte au mail dans mon SUV?'' ("Want me to take you to the mall in my SUV?'')

''Vous pouvez vous rendre au garde de securite!'' ("You can surrender to the security guard!'')

''Ha ha, je suis badiner juste autour hors de l'amiti!'' ("Ha ha, I am just kidding around out of friendship!'')

''Hey, revenez ici!'' ("Hey, come back here!'')

''Il n'y a aucune cause pour l'alarme! Mon pistolet a une surete!'' ("There is no cause for alarm! My gun has a safety!'')

Yes, Americans, with a little effort, you can heal this rift between that has grown between you and our old friends the French. Because, in the end, we have a lot more in common than we do separating us! Or, as the French would say, ''Je suis un grand gros menteur'' ("I am a big fat liar'').

Adapted (mostly copied) from a Dave Barry article.