Botched self surgery

It's been a few days since I had the growth under my arm freeze-dried at the doctors office. The growth has been sort of slowly withering since that time but it feels sore and irritating. The soreness and irritation is what gave me the idea to do some self surgery in the form of quickly slicing it off once and for all . What I really wanted to do was use a sharp knife or razor blade but that was not possible because to do this you have to hold the growth with one hand and slice with the other hand. The solution was using a pair of scissors. What I failed to remember is that usually in a case like this you should really have someone pulling on the growth the same as you would if you were using a knife. So the inevitable happened. The growth merely wedged between the blades of the scissors. Luckily I never passed out from the pain or loss of blood and was able to stanch the bleeding by the application of pressure and toilet paper. This isn't the first time I've botched self surgery.