Future Shop

I made one of these photos using photoshop. Two of these photos were unedited in photoshop. Guess which photo is the one that I made with the computer and which two were made using only $5500.00 worth of camera. Adam said that he was going to comment on the cost of the computer, operating system and photoshop cost.

I got a call today from the Future Shop HR person, she said that I will be starting tomorrow morning (Apr. 1) at 10:00am at the store on Macleod Trail, by the Chinook Mall. I'm pretty excited. Hopefully I make the cutoff, and can start getting paid right away.
I haven't even started and I am already looking forward to my first check.

I guess I'll mostly be starting with training cds for the first little while or what ever they have ready for the supervisor trainee people already. I'm pretty sure that I'll also be shadowing manager types for the first little while. There are probably a bunch of forms and store tours to do too. It will be really nice to be working. For those of you who don't know, a lot of large companies have purchased or made training cds to help train new staff. It involves reading long boring paragraphs and watching videos of people interacting with each other in a business setting. Now I won't know untill tomorrow what it will be like at the Future Shop, but at the Royal Bank where I used to work, the training videos were pretty dull, and really commen sense type topics. I guess that I will just have to put up with it, because personal experience has taught me that I am pretty much the only one with any sense, common, horse, or other.

POETRY by BOB MILNER

Thirsty days hath September, April June and November. All the rest are thirsty too including February which is also thirsty too.

Big News

Firstly, I got offered a job last night. I am calling to accept it when I am done this post. It's a little less money than I had hoped for but there is a 15% bonus if the store meets its goal, and there is a employee discount. If the store exceeds it's goal, there is a 30% bonus.

They also say that you can move up very quickly. They are building a ton of new stores all the time. Now that Best Buy (the Future Shop's parent company) is moving into Canada the growth is only going to get faster. Anyway, at the very least it will be great experience for me to open my own store, what ever that store ends up being.

Second Big News
I got my dual monitor set up going the other day. It's pretty sweet. I wish I had gotten it working years ago. I think I might never go back to only one monitor. Even when I get a 20+ inch monitor, having a second monitor is sweet. Especially since you can get 15 inchers for like $20 second hand. I got mine free as a hand me down from my parents. It was really nice of them.

They are also bringing me up a desk in the near future for my second computer, and possibly for Amy's playstation/TV. It will be very nice to get all that crap off the floor.

What I Am Going To Do With The Money From My New Job.
In order of perceived need.
1. New Car, probably a civic, but we're going to test drive a jetta, possibly a passat, a corolla, a mini (mostly for fun), and an accord.
2. Couches.
3. Kitchen Table and Chairs
4. Bed
5. Hard wood floor/kitchen tile
And if there is any money left over, student loans (maybe, but probably not.)

CHARIOTS OF FIRE

I was talking to a guy yesterday and he told me that one of the best movies ever made was chariots of fire. I replied, what! That was one of the all time worst movies ever made and---. At this point he cuts me off and say's, did you seeeeeee that movie, it's a true movie about a guy who refused to race on Sunday. This was the very point I was going to make had I not been cut off mid-sentence. I wanted to say that you can't make a movie out of every little issue that some goody-two shoes comes up with. Further I wanted to tell him the reason that droves of movie goers went to this movie was because of the millions of dollars that went into the marketing of it. Like myself they were suckered in by a fancy title (chariots of fire) and beautiful theme music. And then I assume that like me, they were left bitterly dissappointed when they did'nt see any chariots of fire or anything resembling something interesting. I didn't get to say any of these things because my friend spent the next fifteen minutes repeating over and over again that it was about a guy that wouldn't compete on Sunday. I'm going to mercifully end this now because I have a feeling that many readers might just be thinking that this little tidbit belongs in the same catigory as chariots of fire. I should have named this little article "Tid bits of Fire" and then maybe it would have won a pulitzer prize or something.

Weird or Boring

I was reading the forums on a stock photography website that I am thinking of joining, when I came upon a thread where people were discussing what to say when someone comes up to you and asks what you are doing. (While you are photographing something.)

Just about everyone said that they got a lot of weird looks from people, and had their own ideas of what to say.

Anyway, to get to the point, one person said, "It's better to be called weird than boring." I'm inclined to agree. I guess it depends on whether or not you equate being weird with being interesting or with being bad somehow.

-Gary Milner,

Press Conference With Ralph Klein

I went to another press conference attended by the premiere today. It was at the Petroleum Club downtown. One of the guests donated $10 million dollars to the Alberta Bone and Joint Institute to help start it up. The other millionaires in the club felt that $10 million warranted a 30 second standing ovation. I said to the PR guy, "Any where else $10 mil would have merited a lot more clapping."

As the millionaires continued congratulating themselves on being such good people a reporter for a major paper said to me, "The guy makes more than that on tax deductions alone, and he thinks he's doing so much for the community."

Here's a quote from Klein, "There are only two ways to raise money for something like this. Number 1 take money from some other government funded program, like education. Try telling that to the teachers. Number 2 increase taxes..." It was at that exact moment, I anticipated him finishing by saying to the millionaires, "Try telling that to you guys." He never did, but I think everyone would have gotten a good laugh out of it.

I'm adding this composite of three photos that I took of Klein last week. Adam put them all together. Everyone in the office got a good laugh out of it. Adam did a really nice job of it. I liked it so much in fact that I made one of myselft. Chris Tait did the photos for me, and Adam showed me how to do it.

The one I made has a lot more frames, and I didn't align my face to my head as well as Adam did for Ralph, but I am entertained by it anyway. If the rest of you don't like it, you can lump it.

Nothing classes up a website like a good animated gif.

-Gary Milner,

How To Lose Weight Redux

Your body reaches an equilibrium weight using the amount you move around and the amount you eat. If you eat less than you normally would, the equilibrium is not balanced, and you lose weight. If you move around more, the equilibrium is not balanced, and you lose weight. If you do both, the balance is even more off, and you lose weight even faster.

Some people have to literally work at being as fat as they are by constantly eating. If they went from super overeating to just plain overeating, they would lose weight. Tracie has told me about people who are so fat that it takes 4 firemen to get them onto the bed in the Hospital. They lose up to a hundred pounds LAYING IN BED! Where's the exercise there?

A person who drinks a big gulp every day would lose weight simply by walking to the 7eleven to get the big gulp. They wouldn't even have to give up the big gulp if they did it consistently. This isn't even out of the question, because there is a sev on every corner. One wouldn't even have to go for that long of a walk.

My complaint is that more people whine and complain about being fat than actually do a single thing about it. In reality, I would rather eat than be skinny as well. This is why if I lose 40 more pounds, I am taking my credit card and spending $4000 on a new camera for myself. I would rather be skinny and have a camera than continue eating too much. If Tracie does it, we are going to Europe.

I am down 6 or so lbs. Tracie is down 3lbs. We only have to lose a pound a week to make it by New Year's eve.

It is a physical impossibility to eat less and not lose weight, it is also a physical impossibility to exercise more and not lose weight, cet. par.

The Elvis Diet

I think your face looks thinner. Are you losing weight or what?
-Bob milner

Yes, I am losing weight. On March 8th, I wrote that I was starting a diet. I am the type of person that tries to avoid talking about dieting unless I am actually going to be losing weight. Like Elvis says, "A Little Less Conversation, A Little More Action."

It is my opinion that people who talk about diets, but don't actually ever lose weight are bores. What's the point? Really what I'm trying to say is a cross between, "put up or shut up" and "show me the money!" possibly with a little "Just do it" and "talk is cheap".

I've lost about 6lbs since I started my diet. If I pace myself at one lb per week, I will reach my goal by New Year's eve. I started by eating less than I normally would. For example I have not eaten any potatoe chips in 16 days, I have only had 500ml pops instead of super big gulps, and at the Gauntlet I only had 4 pieces of pizza instead of 6, and 1 piece of cake instead of 2.

Tracie and I have been going on walks almost everyday for the last two weeks, for about an hour a day (between 4km and 6km). Today we went for a 6km jog. We'll probably go for a 4km jog tomorrow. We joined the running room and are taking a running clinic in two weeks.

-Gary Milner

Hot or Not?

Tracie and I went to the mall this evening. I saw a couple of shirts that I kind of liked, and went in for a closer look. Tracie convinced me to try on a green shirt. I had reservations about it, but went ahead and put it on. While I was in the change room, the clerk came up to Tracie and asked if I was trying the green shirt on. Tracie replied that I was, and the clerk went on to say, "No guys try that shirt on unless they are with girls. Guys don't seem to like it, but girls just love it." She figured that guys should clue in and buy it if the girls like it so much.

Anyway, it passed the Gary test for coolness, so I bought it. The judges have had their say, now it's your turn Canada. The polls are open. Am I hot or not?

-Gary Milner, Hot

GTA3

I finished Grand Theft Auto 3 just now. I feel a real mix of satisfaction and emptiness. I played the final level about 30 or 40 times before being successful. It's such a fun game. When I'm finally getting paid, I'm going to seriously consider getting GTA3:Vice City. It's the same style of game, only set in the 1980's, they've added motor bikes and stuff like that as well. The sound track has real songs from the 80's as well.

Looking back, I haven't really had very much luck finishing video games. I have finished Dragon Warriors 1&2, Hydlide, Mario Brothers 1&3, and like I just said, GTA3. I've come close to finishing a few other games, but I usually lose interest before I finish. Maybe my attention span is just too short to be able to finish most video games.

In any case, I won't be playing GTA3 much anymore.

-Gary

Wedding Photos

I went to Edmonton on Saturday to take photos for my cousin Blair's wedding. We ended up with 380 some photos. I downloaded them onto his laptop so that I could fill the card more than once, and there ended up being about a gigabyte of photos. There is a problem with just willy nilly giving away the photos like that though. This way, he gets to see all the photos, not just the good ones. Hopefully he is the optimistic type and will see the 200 good ones, not the 180 bad ones. Also, it would be great if they are they type of people to actually get the photos printed. Even if they only do the best 100 or so, it would only cost $30-$60 and they would have a spectacular album.

Blair said that he would burn a pair of CD's for me and drop them off in a week or two when he comes to/through Calgary. I'm really looking forward to finally seeing the photos.

I need to work on getting people to pose better, Jackie figures that I am not "forceful" enough in posing. She says that I'm good at getting them to stand in the proper place, and finding nice backgrounds, but that I am not great at making them pose in the best way. I think she is right, and I was secretly hoping that she would sort of help with that, which she did a little bit. Jackie is really good at getting little kids to smile, it was impressive to watch.

Job Front

I got a message from the Future Shop, about the Mgmt position. Unfortunately I was interviewing candidates for the photo editor position for next year, but I called them anyway. I think that I called a little late, but got a hold of the person through their cell phone. We both seemed to want to get off the phone asap, but it seems to me that I have a conditional offer, depending on what my references say. The whole references thing is a bit silly, really, because the deck is so stacked in favour of the applicant. I have Alex Markov from Amtech, Kris Kotarski and Lawrence Bailey both EIC's from the Gauntlet. The question is why would anyone send a reference that is going to bad mouth them?

Speaking of bad mouthing, one of my old bosses gave a guy a glowing reference to a guy he fired for being too annoying. A different old boss exaggerated how much someone was getting paid so that they could get into an apartment complex. So really, references aren't of that much value anyway, because even if the person doesn't like you they may just do you a favour because they feel guilty about giving you the boot themselves.

The Future Shop will be calling my references Monday, and should be back to me soon after they are able to talk to all of them.

-Gary, soon to be in retail management.

Economic Experiments

I have been participating in economic experiments at the University lately (2 so far). You get paid for participating based on the decisions that you make. I have been making my decisions in order to benefit the group equally or at least to benefit every member to the fullest possible.

For the first experiment, we were put into groups of two. We were given 100 points that represented money in this case 1 point was worth 10 cents. The other person in my group had to choose how many of the points he was willing to offer me. I had to choose the least number of points that I was willing to accept. Our decisions were hidden from each other. If my number was less than his number, the deal was accepted, and I was to receive the amount offered by my group member. If he offered less than I was willing to accept, it was a wash, and no one got any points. I figured that it would only be fair if we each got 50 points ($5) because obviously that's a 50/50 split. I set my number at 40 just in case, but the bastard had bid only 38 so we were both out.

Today, the experiment allocated me 100, other people 200, 300, and 100, to people in a group. Each point was worth 5 cents. We were able to choose how many of our points we wanted to keep, and how many we wanted to put into the pot. Our pay off was to be the amount we decided to keep plus the pot*0.4. This was a bit of a trick, to make people think that the pot was to be split evenly with no real gain. How ever that would only be true if the pot was multiplied by .25. Instead we would each get almost half of the pot. Each and every person would receive the greatest benefit if everyone contributed the same amount to the pot. For example if each person contributed 25 points, the pot would have 100 points and each person would get back 40 points. My thinking was that everyone maximizes their benefit by donating to the pot equally, so I'll donate 100 and hope that everyone else each donates 100 (because that is the most that every single person could donate) so that I could get 160 points and the other people would get 260, 360 and 160 respectively. The value donating to the pot decreases when you give more than the other people. The other three people only put in 100 points between them, so we had 200 points in the pot, giving me 80 points which ended up being only $4.00 which is better than the $0 I got last time at least.

-Gary, maybe the real experiment is to see how long it take for us suckers to catch on.

Now why didn't I think of that?

I think I should try the ice cream diet. Then again, maybe I could combine them both. I know...peanut butter cup blizzards. Mmm.

A Nap Or Two Before Lunch

Tracie and I have been going on long walks every morning for the last week or so. They seem to energize Tracie, but when I get home, I just want to have a nap. We're a little different when it comes to exercise of all forms. When she gets done at the gym, she can't stand to eat fatty foods. When I get done, that's when I most need a burger.

This morning after our hour long walk, I finally broke down and had a nap from 10:00-11:00. Then I had another nap from 11:00-12:00. I feel great, and besides, my first appointment of the day is with Ralph Klein at 4:30. Well the appointment isn't really with him. I'm not actually going to speak to him or anything, just photograph him at some event at the Telus Convention center in downtown Calgary for the Gauntlet. For the record, I won't be getting drunk and yelling at homeless people to get jobs, or making cuts to health care and education.

Just an update on the diet situation, I appear to be down about 10 lbs. However, when I weighed myself just now, I wasn't wearing pants. Pants are pretty heavy, so I might only be down a little less than 10 lbs, depending on how heavy pants are. If Tracie's sister Amy didn't live with us, I might consider a pants-free lifestyle. Heck maybe Amy would help start a pants-free movement. We could call it P.F.P.F.L, people for a pants-free lifestyle. I bet we could get Ralph Klein's support, he could stand to lose a little weight himself.

-Gary Milner, a quarter way to his goal, when not wearing pants.

DIET PROBLEMS

I'm getting a tad fat so I decided that I would loose about 10 lbs of ugly fat. I was very serious about it so I even asked the Lord for a little help. What happened next leads me to believe that the Lord may be a little hard of hearing. I think the Lord must have thought I asked to have a little help "gaining" weight. Now I'm pretty close to looking like Java the Hut.

Paint Paint Paint All Day Long, Paint Paint Paint While I Sing This Song

Well we did it again, magnificent art. Today Tracie painted a window scene, and I painted a boat tied to a dock, in a lake that is freezing over.

You should be able to tell by the ball tied to the back of the boat that the boat's owner (referred to from now on as "the owner") has three children. From the shading on the ball, one may deduce that the children are aged 6, 8, and 10. Since the ball is orange, it is obvious that the owner is very safety conscious and doesn't want to be hit by a speed boat or a canoe whilst out rowing.

The shadow at the front of the boat symbolizes the depression of the boat caused by the winter freeze. The rope holding the boat to the symbolizes the oppression of Women and how they should be free to do as they please, go where they want, to be untied if you will.

The blue benches symbolize the freedom of open water and the joy of rowing. The boat is white to represent the white caps on the ocean or a very large lake.

Really this is a painting about standing alone and yearning for adventure.
-Gary




Artist's interpretation:

The plants in my painting represent life and hope in a dreary world of unmoving and unfeeling things. Since the house is deserted, it's a miracle that the plants are growing. Everyday is full of miracles, like the plants, but you just have to look for them.

The shutters are open to represent an openness to life. They are blue as a symbol of sadness and sorrow, that's why the plants are so significant. The plants, which hide some of the shutters, symbolize overcoming sadness.

This really is a painting about hope.
-Tracie

Too Many Choices

I read an article in the New Yorker that discussed the paradox of having to many choices. It had a bunch of stats about how people are 10 times more likely to buy jam when given six samples of different jams than when give 20 samples of jam to choose from.

It seems as if people become paralysed because of their inability to make decisions. Restaurants are a prime example. Rationally people are maximisers. They want the best on the menu, when the menu is long it is more likely that you will be able to find the perfect meal, but the chances of not getting the best thing on the menu goes up. People are afraid that by choosing one thing they are missing out on something better.

There were studies done in the 50's that demonstrated that new car buyers would continue to read brochures about the car they purchased, but would avoid looking at brochures for other cars in order to avoid buyer's remorse. There are people I know that, when in restaurants need to stop looking at other people's food, and quit regretting the choice that they have made for themselves.

The secret is to be a satisficer not a maximiser, to accept something that is great rather than be stuck searching for something that is perfect.

-Gary, this post is long enough

Super Spike V'ball

We went to watch Tracie's sister Becky play volleyball today. I just have to say early-teen girls are very funny. For example, two girls on one of the teams were sharing a pair of socks with black and pink stripes. I said to Tracie, I bet number 9 and number 5 are best friends. It only took her a few seconds to realize why.

Becky is a really good player, a lot of the other girls would only play the ball if it came right to them, but Becky would move around as the play progressed to be in better position for the ball. She also got all of her serves in, which is the most important thing there is in 13 year-old women's volleyball.

I took a couple hundred photos, but they're all at the university, so if I post any it will be in another day or two.

-Gary Milner,

Art is in my blood

These five are my pictures. We are having a great time painting, and in our own opinions, we're getting quite good. (Although I think we each think we're better than eachother).



Next time any of you come to visit, don't be surprised to see our entire house is covered in our own art.





-Tracie, very distracted from homework

Flower Power

We have started painting flowers. You can see my first four efforts here. From first to last, they go in order. I think that I am getting a lot better, that is to say that I'm no longer painting at a sixth grade level. Surely I would get a good mark in Art 30 at least. Not that highschool grades mean very much, pretty much everyone who does all the assignments gets at least a b+ even if the teacher doesn't like them. But I think that I would be in the top few of the class even if it's only in water colours. We haven't gotten a lot of votes on the other paintings, so instead of a competition between Tracie and I, just comment on which one you like the best between my own flower pics this time. Like before, voting is enabled in the comments section. Vote early, vote often, rinse and repeat.



-Vincent Van Gary, My heirs are going to make a fortune!