Home Home on the Range

"Sir, he made a chimney in my father’s house, and the bricks are alive at this day to testify it."

We came home the other day after picking Tracie up from work at the hospital only to find that someone had broken into our house and left a hoodfan on our stove. Can you imagine? A hoodfan, sitting on our stove. This, not two days after we had just purchased a brand new lower model hoodfan.

I said to Tracie, "Why do we have two hoodfans? And how did the second one get in our house?"

She didn't know, but the thought of someone with an unauthorized key coming into our house and willy-nilly dropping off hoodfans put Tracie into major hysterics! I can't say for sure that she was actually frothing at the mouth, but I suspect that if you would have gotten close enough to examine her mouth, it would have had at least a little bit of frothyness.

She said, "Does the second hoodfan look used to you? Who would drop off a used hoodfan without leaving a note and how did they get in our house?" It being a used hoodfan only added to the confusion and anger. Imagine, someone anonymously giving away a used hoodfan.

We went straight to Rona to buy a new dead bolt, but while we were making our newest purchase, I said to her, "You gave Randall and Linda a key to our house. Maybe they dropped the hoodfan off."

When we got back, Tracie called Linda to find out if it was them who had dropped it off and indeed it was, so as it turned out, the reason the hoodfan was used, is becasue we were the ones who used it. It was brand new in the rental house that we stayed in for 6 months. I guess they had taken it out before they tore the house down and then didn't sell it and wanted to get rid of it. Linda thought that Tracie's ordeal was pretty funny.

-Gary Milner, Internet Superstar