There is no P in my arking lot

Oh wait, yes there is, we saw a guy adding some last night.

Tracie and I were getting our free pizza from Pannago last night, when we saw and heard a guy taking a leak in the parking lot of the Mall by our house. Luckily for you and for him, I didn't have my camera. I would have run over and taken a picture of him and posted it here. Think of how artistic it could have been. Some guy peeing a waterfall.

-Gary Milner, Big Internet Superstar

Medicine Hat to fix my Computer

I came to Medicine Hat yesterday to drop off my computer at Memory Lane. It's been acting up lately - dropping to the blue screen of death for no apparent reason (like there is ever a reason). So while I'm here I've also been consulting Mom and Dad about buying that Jeep. I think I'm going to do it. I need to get going now though. I have to get back to Lethbridge for work and it looks like my computer will have to stay and be fixed without me. Oh well - hopefully it will be done before school starts on Wednesday.

Calgary City Workers

I was driving north on Shaganappi and I came upon some roadwork. There were huge signs on the curb alerting me to the fact that there was roadwork going on and that I should watch out because the LEFT lane was closed. I drove a little further and was amazed to find that not only was the left lane not blocked, but that in fact it was the right lane that was closed.

I will admit that they put a sign facing traffic on the curb and the lane directly to the left of it was closed, but the problem is that when there are two lanes, the one on the right is the RIGHT HAND LANE. The one on the Left is the LEFT HAND LANE. It doesn't matter where the sign is in relation to the closed lane.

-Gary Milner Internet Superstar

New Additions

I have made a few additions to our site this morning. Check out Pictures, Links, and the new Google "Site Search" Form where you can search for items on this site.

When You Wish Upon a Star . . .

So, today is the big "Mars Day". Yes the day when Mars will come its closest to Earth for 60,000 years - a mere 35 million miles away. Who cares if it still looks like a marble through the telescope - just like always. Apparently we are supposed to be able to see Mars with the "naked eye". I can't even see the Sun here in Lethbridge because of all the clouds and nasty smoke from the forest fires. I guess I'll just have to wait another 60,000 years for this opportunity to pass again - hopefully there won't be any forest fires nearby.

Speaking of Fires

I visited Lydia on Sunday - we stopped over at her Grandma's house and while we were there got to talking with her Grandmother's sister. She is from the Crowsnest Pass area. (I guess we visited with them when we went motorcycling riding there years ago). Anyway they have been asked to evacuate and that's why they were there visiting in Welling. I can only imagine the fear that would overcome you knowing your house may burn down - of course they said that no houses were burning where they are from. The only houses that were burning are in B.C.

LDS Missionaries

The (Mormon) Missionaries are coming over to my house today. I told them that Wednesday at 1:00pm would be fine for me. One of them called me last night to ask if 1:30 would work. I explained (again) that I had to work at 2:00 and that I didn't care when they came. He seemed slightly embarrassed but explained they had a lunch appointment and didn't want to have to rush. I felt like telling him, "Don't rush, take your time; in fact I don't even care if you come over!" But I didn't. I guess I'm a sucker for being a nice guy. I wonder what they are even going to say to me. I'm sure I'll have something to say to them. This should be interesting.

Japanese Tenant

The roommate - another one that didn't even really live here (he moved in halfway through July then he was in Japan for half of August) has decided to go back to Japan. Of course he wants to stay for 8 days in September. I told him that I would only charge him for half a month. I try not to feel bad for being a nice guy. I mean he has hardly even been here and making him pay an entire month for 8 days isn't really the fair thing to do. I suppose being fair won't make me rich but at least I'll be able to sleep at night (or maybe I won't with all the stress of paying the bills).

He is selling his Jeep Grand Cherokee. It's runs in 4x4 mode all the time. It has a powerful V8 engine and shiny dark green paint. He even installed an MP3 CD player. Buying it would mean no more worries about my Cavalier and it would give me the opportunity to go kayaking in style - whenever I wanted. I haven't really been able to go kayaking at all this year because I don't have a way to get my kayaks to the river.

It seems like buying it is a great idea, except of course for the fact that I don't really have any money to buy it. He's selling it so cheaply compared to what it is worth that I feel like I need to buy it. He needs to sell it by September 8th (12 days) or else he'll have to "give it away" to the dealer. I'm sure the dealer won't give him anything near what it's worth. How will I get the money to pay for it? Also I think he is closing his bank account, so I think that means he'll want the money in cold hard cash. Probably won't find a dealer willing to pay cash. Maybe I'll be able to talk him down more if I use bills as a bargaining tool.

Lethbridge Linux Users Group Meeting

I've decided to set up the old computers around the house as servers. Perhaps I'll even start a home business selling webspace hosting. Having a supplementary income while I am in school would be very nice. Whether I make money or not is beside the point. At least I won't have to pay for unreliable hosting anymore. (One2Host = Worst service ever!) I'm going to the Lethbridge Linux Users Group monthly meeting on Tuesday. LLUG ,as they like to be called, will help me set up my old computers and probably have free donuts too. MMMM donuts. I should probably bring donuts just in case they don't have any because, hey you never know when having a box of donuts is going to come in really handy. Actually having a box of donuts anytime comes in pretty handy.

Anna-Maria is Coming Home!

Anna-Maria has announced that she is actually coming home! I guess I had nothing to worry about "losing" Anna by not convincing her to stay. <Sarcasm>Who would have thought there could be a chance she might not be brainwashed into staying there forever? Who would ever have guessed that she would come back alive?</Sarcasm> She is flying out a week from Friday in the morning and will arrive in Calgary in the early afternoon. Not to give away any surprises but I'm going to be waiting for her because when I set up my school schedule I put almost all my classes on Monday to Thursday with only one morning class on Friday. Who knows, I may even have time for a part time job peddling Internet Hosting to the kids on the swim team every Friday. Speaking of the swim team, yes I do plan on continuing swimming for the University of Lethbridge Pronghorns, my goal is to drop my 50 free time under 24 seconds by the end of the year. (Here is my current ranking in Canada - I was ranked 79th at time of publishing). Also I would like to work on my Butterfly skills - I can't possibly do any worse than I did last year.

All Work and No Play Makes Gary, Something, Something

I went to work at 7:30 this morning and got back 15 hours later. That's a long day. Luckily, Cam bought supper. Luckily, I needed $150. Luckily, I probably won't be having many more 15 hour days. Luckily, I only have two more days working a labour job. Hopefully, six months from now, I'll be working a cushy job in some office tower downtown.

I guess I will go to bed now. I'm pretty tired.

-Gary Milner, Tired Internet Superstar

Punk Concert

I had to take photos at a punk concert last friday night. I forgot my earplugs at home, but luckily the girl at the door had some extra ones to give me. The earplugs saved my life. I don't know why the crowds ears weren't all bleeding. As it turns out, I got there a little late, which was just perfect, because the first band only had 2 songs left, and so I only had to suffer through 4 songs total. I was really glad to be out of there.

Where The Ones Are Always Cold

We built a deck for our house over the weekend. It went up quite quickly, and we even have finished painting it. I'll be glad when we finally get the rail onto it. I cost about $950 and Tracie is really stressed out about it, because we put it all on our credit card. Luckily, my most recent paycheck will pay it all off. Tracie really doesn't like spending money that we don't have.

Schools Not Out For Summer Anymore

Well, my block week class starts on Tuesday, Sept. 2. I'm looking forward to it, and also dreading it. I'm sick of landscaping, and sick of manual labour. I'm thinking of taking Friday off, so that I can have a long weekend, even if I just spend it by myself. I think that having four days to mentally prepare for school isn't really enough, but I think I can live with it. There are a few things that I have to do, and not the least important is to have a mental health day. Maybe have a cold one on my new deck.

Mon Anniversaire

It was my anniversary yesterday. We went to the Global Fest fireworks competition. Three companies are participating, one from Canada, Mexico and the USA. They all have one 20 minute show on seperate days and the winner will be decided and then will put on another show on Saturday. Mexico was last night and the USA two days ago. Canada is tonight at 9:30.

We got near to the place in the nick of time, but then got stuck in traffic for 20 minutes and missed all but the very finale. I was going to take pictures but by the time I got the camera ready, it was over.

We'll probably go to the show on Saturday. We will go early enough to take the shuttle to the show and even pay to get in I think that it will be worth it.

We went out to the Cheese Cake Cafe, because the Olive Garden was closed. It was good, but I was disappointed that we didn't get to go to the Olive Garden.

That makes four years come and gone. It seems a little hard to believe that so much time has passed so quickly.

I had a post that was way longer and way funnier, but some how it got deleted. That's ok though because I am.....

Gary Milner Internet Superstar

Maybe His Death was Suspicious After all

Awhile ago I read an article in the Medicine Hat News about a weapons inspector that had been found dead somewhere in England. I made the offhand remark that I felt foul play had been involved and Dad was pretty mad that I would insinuate that the British Government would ever do such a thing. Well Dad this article isn't proof of my suspicions, but it does add fuel to the proverbial fire. Now do you think I was so wrong to question the circumstance of his death?

Landscaping is a Dangerous Job

Here's a story about borrowing a bobcat to do a little job on the side.

I work for a subcontractor who works for a landscaping company. The landscaping company lets my boss use their bricksaw, tamper and bobcat. Sometimes my boss has little landscaping jobs on the side. We use the bricksaw and tamper without batting an eye. Sometimes however, we borrow the bobcat, which is a bit bigger deal since bobcats cost $60,000 and because the landscaping company doesn't keep good care of it's bobcat trailer.

We were flying down the Deerfoot in my boss's truck pulling the bobcat, when a lady frantically signals us to pull over. One of the tires is completely flat, and the other one was almost flat. We continued on our way to the job site, when not two blocks later, the tire blew out. Luckily for us we were driving very slowly. Having a blowout with the bobcat on the trailer going 100km/h would have certainly flipped the truck.

Now we are stuck far away from the site where we are supposed to be working with the bobcat which we don't have permission to take on to a side job. We got the cat off the trailer and took it to Fountain Tire to have it fixed. The tire cost $200, but at least they had it fixed in less than 20 minutes. My boss was really worried about what he was going to tell his boss, but it seems to have worked itself out.

Needless to say our morning was shot.

Truckers are Crazy

My boss and I were stopped at a light when we heard a honk. I looked to see who was honking. It was a big rig behind us. To make a long story medium length, the trucker was mad at something. We still don't know what. He went into the other lane, and then proceeded to cut us off. My boss slammed on his breaks as the crazy trucker. The big rig missed our truck by no more than one foot. It's the closest I've ever been cut off.

What could that jackace been thinking? What would he have done if he had hit our truck? My boss pulled up beside him and gave him the finger several times over the next few blocks. We regret not getting the phone number off the side of the truck and then calling the transport company, but we didn't think of it in time.

-Gary Milner Internet Superstar

Being An Internet Superstar

As many of you know, I have recently become an internet superstar according to google.com. I can't really say that this has changed my life very much so far. I'm still not that easy to recognise. I think that it may just take a little while for me to become, Gary Milner Really Big Internet Superstar.

I think this will change my life by making me richer, happier, and more famous. I think that I will still be just as nice to the little people (that's alll of you,) as I was before. I don't think that my new-found fame and fortune will change me for the worse.

Being Voted the 3rd Sexiest Man In Calgary by a Jury of Our Peers

My friend James, (there's a link to his blog on the left of the screen,) was voted the 3rd sexiest man in Calgary by the readers of another weekly newpaper in town. He was beaten by Darr MaqBool, a tv weatherman from India and Dave Kelly a morning talkshow host. I think James was able to get 30 or so votes, which is quite good considering that you had to answer at least 25 questions for the survey to be valid.

-Gary Milner, Internet Superstar

Home Home on the Range

"Sir, he made a chimney in my father’s house, and the bricks are alive at this day to testify it."

We came home the other day after picking Tracie up from work at the hospital only to find that someone had broken into our house and left a hoodfan on our stove. Can you imagine? A hoodfan, sitting on our stove. This, not two days after we had just purchased a brand new lower model hoodfan.

I said to Tracie, "Why do we have two hoodfans? And how did the second one get in our house?"

She didn't know, but the thought of someone with an unauthorized key coming into our house and willy-nilly dropping off hoodfans put Tracie into major hysterics! I can't say for sure that she was actually frothing at the mouth, but I suspect that if you would have gotten close enough to examine her mouth, it would have had at least a little bit of frothyness.

She said, "Does the second hoodfan look used to you? Who would drop off a used hoodfan without leaving a note and how did they get in our house?" It being a used hoodfan only added to the confusion and anger. Imagine, someone anonymously giving away a used hoodfan.

We went straight to Rona to buy a new dead bolt, but while we were making our newest purchase, I said to her, "You gave Randall and Linda a key to our house. Maybe they dropped the hoodfan off."

When we got back, Tracie called Linda to find out if it was them who had dropped it off and indeed it was, so as it turned out, the reason the hoodfan was used, is becasue we were the ones who used it. It was brand new in the rental house that we stayed in for 6 months. I guess they had taken it out before they tore the house down and then didn't sell it and wanted to get rid of it. Linda thought that Tracie's ordeal was pretty funny.

-Gary Milner, Internet Superstar

A WATER RESCUE IN WATERTON

While we were in Waterton, a fancy boat caught on fire out in the middle of Waterton lake. It caught fire while a guy was taking his three year old grandchild out for a boat ride. They both put on their life jackets but the three year old refused to abandon ship so the grandfather thought he would just jump in the water and coax the kid to jump to him. But surprise, surprise, the kid still wouldnt jump and it was impossible to climb back into the boat. Oh and I forgot to mention the kid was also busily taking off his life jacket. Other boaters saw the smoke and went to the rescue and rescued them both. A boat from the marina came and put out the fire and towed the boat almost back to the dock where it sank and went to the bottom. A crane came and pulled it off the bottom and onto the docks. We saw the boat after but it was covered with a tarp and we couldn't see the extent of the damage.

Jeff Milner the Hero

I saved a child today at the pool. She was swimming in the deep end and when I looked over at her she was going under coming up for air and then going under again. The other guard didn't see her and I tried to reach her from the edge but she was too far to swim over at all; she just kept going under. I even tried to reach the towel that I happened to be holding out to her but it was just out of her grasp. Next thing I know I decided to just jump in and grab her. I pulled her to the side, got out, and then suddenly the other guard noticed us. He came over quickly and I let him take her along with one of the councillors while I went and got changed. She was okay, just a little shaken up.

It's weird jumping in for someone in distress. At first it doesn't seem like much, I mean just some wet clothes, and really when you think about it, it's not much. However, at least this is what I found, afterwards my adrenaline was just flying. I felt like my heart was beating so fast and at the same time felt a little bit of the shock setting in myself. Then I let myself wonder if she really did need someone to jump in for her. I'm glad the other guard there assured me I did the right thing and the more I think about it the more I agree that there was really nothing I should have done differently. I felt the best about it when I was leaving from work this evening one of the councillors that was there (it was a day camp girl that was going under) said to me nonchalantly, "Thanks for saving that little girl today." Saving someone is pretty cool, even if it is so minor as just jumping in the pool and pulling them to the side.

The Party at Gary and Tracie's

It turns out I don't have to work on the 23rd at all and although I was scheduled for the 24th it looks like I'll be able to trade with someone and have the weekend completely off. So plan for me to be coming on Saturday, August 23rd. Until then I have my own house to look after. Speaking of looking after my house, I have been letting Anna and her room mate stay here this last week. Zee has a cat that doesn't realize what the purpose of screens are and has ruined at least two of my screens so far. Zee says she'll pay for them which is nice, but it's just giving me a bit of stress. The cat got locked out last night and then jumped up into the house through the bathroom window. I woke up after what seemed like hours of the sound of cat pawing away at my door. I got up and thought who locked the cat in the bathroom, well when I let him out I saw the ripped open screen blowing in the wind. GRRRR. Well that's it for my story and I'm wanted on the phone. Take care and keep bloggin'.

Back Online, Baby!

Considering the fact that I hardly ever talk on the phone and that I spend about 15 minutes tops each day on the internet, I'm surprised to find myself so happy to finally be connected to the outside world. We were supposed to have everything hooked up on the first, but Telus let us down and has only in the last hour come to fix our connections. I would have switched from Telus to Sprint Canada, seeing as they are now offering regular home service, but, you know, I couldn't call them.

Visit and Party Plans

Gary and I also had a lot of fun visiting our families in Medicine Hat. We were glad to get home to start unpacking, although we haven't finished yet as I had hoped we would have by now. So Jeff, are we really going to have the party on the 22nd or 23rd? If you have to work and if everyone wants to rush off the the Scott guy's (Miles??) wedding maybe it won't be a good weekend. Everyone will have to post and give their opinion. We really would like to have everyone over. I'm excited to show off our new house, even though it's filled with our same crappy stuff. Gary doesn't know this yet, but effective immediately there will be a standing offer for anyone reading this blog (that we like) to visit us or stay with us whenever they want. Come this weekend if you want to! Just remember that we still haven't got a spare bed, so you may want to bring a foamy or something.

NB: I work every other weekend unitl school starts in September, this coming weekend being my weekend off!

NOT ONE BUT TWO GOLFBALL SMACKERS
Jane aready mentioned that we went to the motorcyle club land for the purpose of smacking golf balls off the bluff formerly known as the main hill. Jackie and Glen did most of the smacking. It was quite a show. No balls made it all the way across the river because the river must be well over four hundred yards across, maybe even four hundred and fifty. I have to say that I enjoyed watching Jackie's drives as much as Glen's drives because she is so darn good at it the same as Glen. It just occurred to me now that I think I'm going to go over there and practice and try getting some balls all the way to the river and then challenge her to a serious dual when she comes back here to the Scot kids wedding reception. I guess you could't hear anything because this blog dosen't have sound, but the guantlet just landed.

BEETLEMANIA IN THE HAT

This post is for those who saw the hordes of beetles in Medicine Hat and then left town before hearing what caused the infestation. The beetles were fleeing the forest fires in Western Alberta and B.C. They must have been on their way to the forests of Northern Saskatchewan.

...And the Weekend's Not Even Over Yet!

I'm back in Lethbridge with Anna-Maria. Zee did a great job putting the place in order while I was gone. It turns out that Zee's ride to Vancouver seems to have decided not to actually go, leaving her stranded at my house looking for another way to move out to BC. Her mother did offer to take her out there before and it looks like she might just have to take her up on the deal, well, I'm not sure what she'll do but I'm sure she think of something and be out of here soon - not that I minded her here cleaning up the place... :) But I'm sure she'll love it out on the coast.

Anna-Maria is up in the air about whether to go with her family to New Mexico for the next week or so. She is going to miss seeing me again until after her Montreal trip if she does in fact go with them. I'll probably go see her at the airport in between trips, if I can swing it with work and everything, but still it would be really nice to hang out with her until she leaves for that long stint in Quebec.

So for tomorrow I haven't really decided what I'm going to do. I would like to go Kayaking in Calgary with Corry but me being here in Lethbridge and he being in Medicine Hat and me not having anyway to get my boat from here to Calgary presents kind of a problem. I feel somewhat guilty about the lack of kayaking overall this summer and I know I'm going to regret not having gone much once school starts and the snow begins to fall. Alright not much else to say right now, so I'll post again if anything interesting happens.

Wedding Race

We didn't just beat you by a nose, be beat you by a couple of furlongs.

You can't escape dumb qustions from prying people. As soon as you get married people start asking when you are going to have kids. It never ends. I don't think that people really mean anything by it, mostly they're just joking or grasping at straws trying to make conversation. Although, they should just talk about mad cow disease or the Rolling Stones SARS concert in Toronto. Possibly the war against some terrorists. Why for example are the Basques and the IRA being left out of the current situation.

Jackie's Reception

I agree that the reception went very well. It seemed that people started taking the tables and chairs down a little quickly, which dampened the party pretty quickly. The slide show was particularly good even if I shouldn't have let Photoshop use the default settings to resize the photos that I took. You couldn't really see the jpg compression artifacts, but a few of the pics did seem a little blurry.

House

We got moved into our house last night. By that I mean all of our stuff is there now. We still have to unpack everything. Hopefully it will go by quickly. We met our neighbours on both sides of the house and on of them and his two nephews actually helped us carry a lot of our stuff into the house. It only took an hour tops. It was really nice of them, especially since the nephews were here on vacation from Newfoundland. Newfies are some of the friendliest people you will ever meet.

We still haven't decided if we want our bedroom to be upstairs or downstairs. Right now it's downstairs, and I kind of like it because there is an ensuite bathroom. The laundry room is in there also which is a bit of a drawback, but other than that we just have to decide how to position the bed.

I think that Ralph is planning to bring the piano pretty soon and maybe stop by Raymond on the way to pick up a queen size bed from Tracie's Grandma. Gail seems to want a new couch pretty bad, so maybe we'll be getting her old one to put by the tv.

We Had A Lot of Luck With That Truck

Dad lent us his truck to help with the move and it was a lifesaver. I don't know what we would have done without it. I'm actually quite sad that we had to bring it back to Medicine Hat. I offered to trade my Civic for Dad's Toyota, but he wouldn't go for it. Maybe I should tell him that I'll have a baby and convince Jeff to get married right away.

That might be worth a new truck. How about it Dad?

-Gary Milner Internet Superstar

Ps. I'm trying to get google to return the blog as the top search result for "Gary Milner Internet Superstar" I wonder how long it will take. I'm guessing it will take a few days.

Two Down, Just Me to Go

So Gary and Jackie both beat me in the wedding race. It hasn't really bothered me up till now, and in fact it still doesn't bother me. What bothers me is the harassment that I've been getting lately. "When are YOOOOOUUU getting married Jeff?" I told you, I don't know now get off my back already. I know Anna-Maria seems to be the perfect girl for me and now does seem like a pretty good time to get engaged, but I'm thinking am I really ready? Is there any good reason not to? Last time I was engaged it was a close call. I’m really glad that I didn't get hitched and not that Anna-Maria is anything like the previous girlfriend, but at the same time I think we are pretty happy the way we are and I really want us to both make sure it's the right thing to do. I'm thinking this post is a touch on the personal side but what the hell is this blog for if I can't even post what's really on my mind. I guess that's why I shouldn't go telling everyone about it if I want to have a place to vent without feeling like everyone is reading my mind. Anyway I digress....

Glen and Jackie's wedding reception was absolutely wonderful tonight. Anna-Maria gave a particularly beautiful singing number - I don't know what anyone who suggested that she should do another song was thinking, because it really was perfect. The slide show went down without a hitch and many people came up to me afterwards to compliment me on it. I'm glad they liked it and even though it wasn't nearly as good as I would have liked it to be, it did really feel pretty good that so many people told me that they liked it so much.

Gary's House Warming Party

Since Tracie was so nice as to plan me that big family get together back in June, I thought it was only fair if I planned a house warming party for Gary and Tracie for the weekend of August 23rd or 24th. When I say plan I actually mean, tell them to get ready because we're coming. It should involve a BBQ, a large variety of pop and chips and perhaps even a piñata. Everyone loves a piñata!

I'd rather be rich than stupid

I've been thinking about finishing my degree in the States lately. I'm wondering if I can take a similar (if not the same stuff) that I'm taking at the University of Lethbridge under the pretence of getting a Bachelor of Fine Arts only get a Batchelor of Science degree at Cal State Monterey. If I’m going to do it, I’ll have to do it by this January otherwise I will probably not be able to use all of the classes I have taken so far. I’ll keep you updated.