Thursday, March 16, 2006
Cool Grapes and Cold Feet
Ayer's Rock is pretty much out at this point. It looks like we won't have the money to go there now. I guess we could charge it, but spending money we don't have rubs us the wrong way a little anyway.
We had planned to be sending a little money home by this point, but we are now living cheque to cheque. It looks like we will need our tax returns to make our student loan payments.
To tell you the truth, I've been having way less fun since we left Perth in November than I was having in the first five months of the trip. I'm including the fun I'm having right now and fun I perceive myself having for the next four months.
I'm a pretty happy guy 99% of the time, so I'm self diagnosing mild self pity.
This is going to be all over the place, but I think the reason I'm getting cold feet about doing the shop is because I don't really know or understand my motivations for wanting to do it in the first place.
I can't be certain if I want to do it because I actually want to do it or if I'm ok with doing it and I think Tracie wants to stay here in Australia. I'm worried that Tracie is actually only willing to stay in Australia and doing mainly so that I can work in the shop. She says she wants to stay in Australia, but that more importantly than that she doesn't really want to go back to Canada (or only go to visit ocasionally).
It could turn out that I am just homesick.
I feel lost.