Friday, September 22, 2006

My Thing About Space

I don't know if I've written about this before, but I have somewhat of what I call a mild personality disorder. It manifests itself most strongly at the dinner table.

I *REALLY* don't like being crowded at the dinner table. It is like some sort of weird Gary Feng Shui. Things placed near my plate make me very uncomfortable. Short things may be closer than tall things. I don't like tall things to be directly in between me and the other people at the table. There should be valleys between the tall things so that I can see the other people. It affects me more the less crowed the table is because there is obviously space for the stuff to be other than right beside me. When there are more people I put up with it more, simply because there isn't enough space to go around. Often however I have to put something on the counter to get it out of the way.

This quirk of mine extends to many other places as well. For example when I am parking the car, if it is possible I leave at least one space between my car and other cars. It really annoys me when there are a million spaces in the lot and the only other car in the whole place is parked next to mine. Another example is in the men's room. I know most men do this, but some don't. At a line of urinals never, ever use the urinal right next to someone who is already there.
It doesn't matter if you know them or not or how good friends you are. Leave a space. It seems that men in general just know this, but it must be a learned thing.

Today I was doing photos at an elementary school and I was using the facilities. I walked past six urinals and used the second last one. (I wanted some space between me and the wall). I was the only one at a line of eight urinals. A little kid walks in and goes to the very last urinal.

"Can I use this one?"

I thought to myself no, but I didn't want to bully a third grader. It seemed to me that there were plenty of spaces *NOT* right beside me but "Uh... Yeah I guess." Maybe I should have taught him a lesson that all boys need. Give people their privacy at the urinal.

Come to think of it I don't even like to use adjoining stalls if I can help it.



Tracie said...

"...mild personality disorder..."

That's putting it mildly.

Bob Milner said...

Do you occasionally 'savage' people when they touch you.You should talk about this in your next episode.

Jon said...

Rea also freaks out about proximity to object at the dinner table. It is one of the few things tha make her twitch, so it is fun to watch.

I hate it when cars park next to mine. Especially when they park so crooked that I wonder how they even got out of the car. Normally under those situations I kindly readjust their sideview mirrors so they will side swipe a post when they are backing out. As well, we have a dry-erase marker to send pleasent reminders to them to park better next time.

My favorite is "Nice parking job, A$$-hat".

Tracie said...

Hmm Jon.... you might have left us a note once at superstore.

And by "us", I mean "me".


Jon said...

Did you park next to a Black Civic or Orange Fit? ;-)

rea said...

I do have the same damned quirk! I think its a mild form of OCD or something. I can't STAND too much crap on the table, including jugs, pepper grinders, salad dressing, or copious amounts of glasses. Drives me MAD. I've been known to put things on the counter or the floor to clear up some space.

I have a thing about crowded movie theatres too, but that's a long, long anxious story.