Princess Dianna

I was on my way home today when I heard someone on the radio say that investigators have finally finished the investigation into Princess Dianna's car crash. The radio station said that they would be giving the results of the investigation at a later time today. I guess they were far too busy to give the details right then...&*$%@#, their hides. Anyway my obsearvation is that an ordinary car crash takes about an hour or two to investigate if a fatality results. I really wonder what new information they thought they could glean from an investigation three or four years later that they couldn't have found out at least within a month considering the man power that would have been used in a case where royality was involved. They make me scoff.

Pamela Anderson

Pamela Anderson says she wants to get through her divorce with a little dignity. But here's the question.... Why is she so worried about dignity all of a sudden? She's never had a dignified bone in her body. She doesn't even know anyone with dignity.

The "N" word

The actor Michel Richards is being hassled by the black community lately because he lost his temper and called two black comedy patrons... niggers. Blacks have started a movement to try to have the word banned entirely from public usage in the arts and media. They say that the word is terrible because it is entirely a "hate word". Here's the deal. I think that if they are successful, there are other words that need to be banned as well. One such word is the "F" word. It's entirely a hate word as well. And there are phraises that are vulgar and hateful too. Why can't they be banned.

Casino Royale

I went to see the new Bond movie today. Let me just say, "Best Bond movie ever". It has a good story and lots of plot twists. There was plenty of good action, and the stunts were way less over the top than in some of the previous Bond movies.

It was also a lot heavier on the physical action and lighter on the sci-fi gadgets like in some of the previous movies.

I give it two thumbs up, it is fine holiday fun.

-Gary Milner

If I Ran The Zoo

I emailed Linda back and said that she could use the photos. I sent her four to choose from.

If I'm any judge of exclamation points (and I think I am, there were three in the first line alone) she was pretty happy that I said it was ok.

Yes! It's no problem to send adult zoo passes! She'll mail them tomorrow! Yay!

I guess I'm even more pleased that she was. Even though she's getting a way better deal than me, passes only cost $16 each for adults. That would barely cover my sitting fee.

Looks like I'll be making a trip to the zoo in the near future to see my sign. Maybe I'll be able to network this into a behind the bars photo shoot at the zoo. Maybe even with the monkeys.

-Gary

O. J. Simpson Again

I just have to air my personal beef about paying O.J. Simpson to tell how he killed his wife and that other guy. In the first place, he shouldn't profit from this horrendous crime but notwithstanding that we've already be victimized with years of news coverage about the murder. We already know who did the murder and how he did it. We were inundated with it for years. Excuse me, but there isn't anything new that can be said. The news media is wicked and crazy.

Frogs on a Plate!

Frogs on a Plate!

I received an interesting flickr from someone at the Calgary Zoo today. She seems to like this photo and one other one like it. Here is her email.

Hi there!

My name is Linda and I work for the Calgary Zoo in Alberta, Canada, and I saw a couple photos of your tomato frogs (on plate, and a head on shot). They are two of the best I've seen, and I was wondering if we could use it to create a species sign that explains some of the characteristics of these interesting frogs.

We will commit to providing you with photo credit each time it's used (where appropriate). We don't sell our images or use them for anything other than to show some of the animals at our facility, and if the photographer allows us to, we'll add them to our photo catalogue which lets us use the photo(s) potentially in our member newsletter, posters etc. to promote the Zoo.

Is this something you would consider? if you'd like to see what we're all about, please check out our website at www.calgaryzoo.com.

Hope to hear from you soon,
Thanks,
Linda

How to Scratch Backs and Earn Money

Let's See A Show Of Hands

Tracie has an itchy back every single night. I have to spend the first five minutes of potential sleepy time scratching her back.

Last night she said to me, "If I was rich, I would hire someone to scratch my back." I suggested a homeless kid, you know, to help the community.

Tracie said, "I would receive the scratching, but, I wouldn't be a back scratcher for any amount of money"

I would do it for $50 per hour. Then again there might be a more profitable way of running this business if you charged by the inch, depending on how big the person is. Obviousley you can do simple calculations to figure out area using length times height, but how do you calculate the actual surface area of a person.

I think there must be some way of using volume and density to figure out the surface area of an irregularly shaped object.

-Gary Milner

Basketball

Coach

The other day Jeff and I went to the studio where I work to take a few photos. This one is a shot that Jeff got of me pretending to be a high school basketball coach.

Yesterday Steve Meldrum invited me to play some hoops up at the church. Although I can do a six mile run in under an hour, I'm not really in basketball shape. I guess I need to work on my variable speeds with more sprinting or something.

Thankfully, I have been going to the gym doing those long runs or I would have really been in trouble.

We were playing with a bunch of college kids and maybe some high schoolers, and the games only went to 11 points. The worst part of it is that it takes me just about the whole game just to get warmed up. Then about half way through the second game my body decides that, "No I'm not actually going to die", and I can get down to playing some ball.

By then the game is over.

I kind of like being on the old guy team now. The old guys almost always win. I don't know why. Maybe we're too out of shape to do those stupid fancy moves and don't waste time or energy we don't have to like a lot of the younger guys do. I've also noticed that it gets easier to see the court as you age. I don't know why.

Maybe just experience.

-Gary Milner

Squashed

I went to play squash with my good friend Steve this morning pretty early. I found out that I need a little more practice playing squash. He went pretty easy on me in the first game, and I did hit a few pretty good shots that he couldn't return, but in the two games after that, he basically went to town on me.

By the end I was feeling pretty sick, maybe from not sleeping or having breakfasts or dehydration, but it wouldn't have made any difference to how well I fare against him anyway. Just to how many times I would have been beaten.

Well, Steve, if you're reading this keep it mind that there's a target on your back now, and in a couple of months I'll have my revenge (but only if I can find more people to help me practice.)

-Gary